It’s a simple formula.
The Celtics + playing in Boston – Sam Cassell equals a happy Sean Crowe.
For the most part.
James Posey and Ray Allen trying to throw the game late in the fourth quarter by committing two awful turnovers in their own zone nearly gave me an aneurysm. How do you make that pass, Posey?
Allen, at this point in his career, is a liability on the floor at times. Now that he’s apparently tired, he’s a liability more often than not.
Apparently, Eddie House slept with coach Doc Rivers’ wife and, as payback, he’s been benched for the playoffs. How else do you explain him not getting some of Allen’s minutes?
Or for that matter, all of Cassell’s?
Paul Pierce was exactly what the doctor ordered after his teammates tried to throw the game away. While Kevin Garnett was relatively invisible and Allen was busy missing shots and throwing the ball to the other team late in the fourth, Pierce was driving to the basket, drawing fouls, and draining free throws.
Finally, a member of the "Big Three," other than Garnett, actually came up big.
But the best player in this game was probably Rajon Rondo. His consecutive 3-pointers in the second quarter turned the game around. His aggressive play and fantastic ball movement is what created the third-quarter run that gave the Celtics a lead they never relinquished.
He scored, he distributed, and he played fantastic defense.
Hopefully Rivers was watching.
Eventually, someone is going to invent a device that can help us fans stop coaches from making stupid decisions (Mark Cuban, I'm looking in your direction).
Coaches will be forced to wear it on their wrist, like a bracelet, and when we push a button it sends thousands of electric volts through their body…jolting them to their senses.
Or into unconsciousness. Whatever works.
A couple of examples where this would have worked perfectly:
- Grady Little tells Pedro Martinez to go back out for the eighth inning against the Yankees in Game 7 of the 2003 ALCS. We shock him until he passes out. Mike Timlin comes in the game instead and the Red Sox go on to beat the Marlins in the World Series.
- Bill Belichick decides it’s a good idea to blitz and match Ellis Hobbs one-on-one on Plaxico Burress with no help over the top. We shock him, his hidden camera melts, causing a ruckus, during which time he comes to his senses and decides to leave a safety over-the-top. Burress is tackled inbounds, the clock ticks down, Eli ends up throwing a desperation interception, and the Patriots are undefeated champs.
- Rivers decides to take Rondo out of Game 4, even though he’s the only guy on the floor hitting shots, and replace him with a ball-hog who can’t play defense and isn’t hitting his shots. We shock him, repeatedly, until he passes out (because Doc doesn’t learn easy); then, in the confusion, a fan sneaks over and kicks Cassell in the knee…knocking him out of the playoffs. Rondo goes on to lead the Celtics to victory and a 3-1 series lead.
Bleacher Reports’ own Bryan Thiel could use it the next time John Gibbons falls asleep and forgets he has a bullpen, specifically when Roy Halladay is pitching.
I’m telling you, this has to happen.
Anyway, the Pistons await the winner of this series…and, after watching this game, they have to be confident. Neither team looks like a world-beater.
Hopefully Rivers misses the flight to Cleveland and the Celtics are able to FINALLY break through on the road. If not, I know I’m not looking forward to LeBron James in a Game 7.
Sean Crowe is a Senior Writer at Bleacher Report. You can email him at firstname.lastname@example.org. His archive can be found here. You can find everything he writes, including articles for other publications, here.