What If I Made A Football Team Out Of Baseball Players?

Shanan H. by Correspondent Written on August 01, 2009
PESCARA, ITALY - JULY 03:  (L-R)  Cheerleaders dancing during Beach Volleyball Final event of  XVI Mediterranean Games at Stadio del Mare. on July 3, 2009 in Pescara, Italy.  (Photo by Getty Images) (Photo by Getty Images)

"Hello, John Madden here for Sunday Night Football.  Boy, this game should be, uh, great!  Matt, we have the New England Patriots taking on the Assorted Current Baseball Players Playing, uh, Football.  Man, that's a mouth, uh, full!"

"That's right, John.  And even though you really stink, you are broadcasting this game!  Wait, didn't you retire?"

"Uh, uh, doink!  Surprise!  I'm back!"

"Great, John..."

"Look Matt, the game's, uh, starting.  Can you run through the ACBPPF's (Assorted Baseball Players Playing Football) line-up?

"Sure, John...After the coin toss, it was decided that the ACBPPF's will start the game by receiving the ball.  Their offensive line-up:

"On the line is Prince Fielder playing left tackle, the left guard today is Jose Molina, the center is Bengie Molina, the right guard is Yadi Molina, and the right tackle is Poablo Sandoval.

"Playing tight end is Josh Hamilton; the wide receivers are Jim Edmonds and Ichiro.  Playing halfback is Carl Crawford, and the fullback is Ken Griffey, Jr.

"The quarterback is Randy Johnson.

"After a touchback, the game will get underway."

"That's nice, Matt!"

"Yes, it is.  Randy Johnson, back.  The set.  The hike.  Johnson, looking downfield, Ichiro's open on the right at the 30, Randy spots Ichiro, pass to his left.  Full sprint to the ball, and ICHIRO MAKES THE CATCH!!!!!  WHAT A PLAY!"

"Wow."

"You're never short of words, are you John?"

"That's for sure!"

"Randy, in the huddle.  Break.  They're in the I form.  Set. The hike.  Randy receives handoff to Crawford, he's through the line, nice hole there in between the Molina Bro line, he GETS PAST BRUSCHI!  THE 50...40...30...20...15...10...5...TOUCHDOWN!!!  WHAT A RUN BY CRAWFORD! 

"Wow."

"Yes, John."

"Wow."

"You just said that, John."

"What?"

"I said you just said that"

"What did you say I say, uh, I just said?"

"Forget it!" 

"The kicker is out, Izzy Alcantara, most famous for his kicking the catcher during a minor league ball game.  The hike.  Oh, and a perfect set up, but Izzy misses, and kicks the setter.  Izzy'll grab the ball, and run towards the wrong end zone, and fall over.  I've never seen this!"

"Wow"

"Hey, Bob, can you get this geezer out of here?"

"Matt, you're on air."

"So, I could give a...

-commercial break-

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Who would really win?

  • ACBPPF
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Results - Author Poll

Who would really win?

  • ACBPPF

    100.0%
  • Patriots

    0.0%
  • Total votes: 3
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written on August 01, 2009 Humor

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