Darrius Heyward-Bey Catches First Training Camp Pass; Holds Out Of Camp

Oakland Raiders first round draft pick Darrius Heyward-Bey impressed onlookers and present media when he caught a 70-yard bomb from Raiders quarterback JaMarcus Russell on his first day in training camp.

“I really wanted to impress Mr. Davis and prove that I was worth the $23 million dollar contract he gave me,” said Heyward-Bey. “I am obviously the best receiver on the team because they chose me so high,” Darrius continued.

Soon after Darrius caught his first pass as a Raider, he promptly excited the field and gave a high five to his new agent: Drew Rosenhaus.

Raiders head coach Tom Cable was seen yelling at Bey as he excited the field, but was soon quieted by local media personality Peter King when he yelled at Cable to “shut-up” as Rosenhaus’s press conference was about to start.

“My client, Darrius Heyward-Bey, is now in the locker room packing his things and on his way back to Maryland. He’s leaving camp because he feels that he’s not being paid for the services that he has given the Raiders,” said Rosenhaus.

There was complete and utter silence among reporters and coaches.

Head coach Tom Cable moved his way to the front of the group and actually raised his hand to ask a question.

“Does Mr. Davis know about this? Because if he doesn’t Darrius is going to be in trouble and so am I,” asked Cable.

Drew responded by telling Cable that Mr. Davis was informed by letter this morning of Bey’s decision to hold-out.

Cable proceeded to yell at Drew, telling him that Al Doesn’t wake up until noon and has to have breakfast before he reads any of his mail.

Tom then ran into the team compound hoping to steal the letter before Mr. Davis had his morning meal of cialis, strawberry oatmeal, and Metamucil.

Drew Rosenhaus continued his press conference by stating that Bey wants a contract extension worth $9 million dollars a year.

“Everyone around the NFL knows that Al Davis prefers a vertical passing game. Howard-Bey posses all the skills needed to take this team and the quarterback to the next level. He just wants to be paid for what he has contributed and what he’s worth,” said Rosenhaus.

Drew then ended his press conference by announcing his newest client, Brett Favre, would be signing with the New England Patriots.

When asked how he ended up in New England and why, Rosenhaus promptly responded with this line.

“Frankly Bill was tired of Tom Brady’s playboy antics and thought that Brett Favre’s steady hand could guide a team in desperate need of leadership.

Later in the day, ESPN reported that John Madden announced his comeback as a Patriots consultant.

-JH