The Worst Farewell Tour Gifts for Athletes

When most of us leave the workforce, there isn't much fanfare surrounding our departure. Fortune 500 companies may have the whole "gold Rolex retirement gift" thing going for them, but that's rare. What we are left with is bills, bills and even more bills—just ask Destiny's Child.

I digress. There's no getting around the fact that athletes are treated like royalty. Their salaries are expansive and the love people have for them is endless. When they step away from their careers, they get a ton of farewell gifts. Some gifts are wonderful, some are thoughtful—then there are ones that are downright terrible.

*For the sake of fun, let's take a look at this slideshow in two different ways. The first six slides will break down some of the worst farewell gifts athletes have ever received. After that, we'll look at a few of the worst gifts athletes could receive when they finally decide to retire.

Mariano Rivera's Sandman Tribute

Chris O'Meara/Associated Press

Unless you were born in a barn, you know that Mariano Rivera came out to the Metallica classic "Enter Sandman" during his illustrious career in pinstripes.

The New York Yankees legend said goodbye to the game of baseball last year and went on his very own farewell tour. Along the way he was showered with gifts from opposing teams. When he landed in Tampa Bay, the Rays were gracious enough to craft this bizarre, horror movie-like sand sculpture in his honor. 

It's not like this thing isn't cool. Whoever built it is clearly a master of his craft. The main issue is that the guy on the sculpture looks nothing like Rivera. For that matter, he doesn't look like anyone on the team. At best, they used a picture of Gary Sheffield during his time in New York when they erected this thing.

Good try, Tampa. Thanks for all of the effort. 

Randy Moss: A Super Bowl Loss

USA TODAY Sports

This one really wasn't a gift, but it was sad nonetheless. The greatest downfield threat in NFL history was so close to capturing a Super Bowl title twice in his career.

Once with the undefeated New England Patriots and then again with the San Francisco 49ers. Both times, Moss' teams fell short of capturing glory, leaving Randy alone in the cold without a glossy Super Bowl ring to keep him warm.

Too bad, because for all his antics, he was one heck of a pass-catcher and a truly explosive talent.

Derek Jeter's Subway Series Cake

Kathy Willens/Associated Press

Joining his former Yankee teammate Mariano Rivera, Derek Jeter has embarked on a farewell tour of his own this season. He's been showered with gifts along the way. Everything from surf boards to cowboy boots have landed in Jeter's possession.

The New York Mets served as a rival of Jeter's Yankees, but both teams represent the same city. They gave Jeter gifts that included this ridiculous Subway Series-themed cake. Designed by everyone's favorite baker, Buddy Valastro of Cake Boss fame, the Mets gave Jeter something he'll never forget.

Where do you put this thing? The back of a dumpster? Your basement? I mean, it's a giant cake. The thought was certainly there, but the logic wasn't. At least he got a sweet painting in the process.

Chipper Jones Gets a Cowboy Hat

Bob Levey/Getty Images

Do yourself a favor and capture the picture featured above. Are you done? Great. Now don't you feel better?

One major non-Yankees farewell tour that took place was with former Atlanta Braves slugger Chipper Jones. Like Jeter and Rivera, Jones toured the country and was rewarded for his service to baseball with gifts.

When he reached the Houston Astros, they gave him a cowboy hat. A cliche, "we're-in-Texas-now" hat. I'd go out on a limb and say that Jones can afford to buy 18 million cowboy hats and not feel any sort of financial stress.

Couldn't the Astros front office have given him something a little more memorable?

Cal Ripken Jr. Gets a Signed Jersey

GAIL BURTON/Associated Press

Cal Ripken Jr. left baseball in 2001 with 3,184 hits to his credit. Ripken wasn't just a magnificent ball player, he was also one of the most respected men in the sport.

Going on the original farewell tour, Ripken was rewarded with a ton of interesting gifts along the dusty trail. His stop in Seattle wasn't as fulfilling. Then-manager Lou Piniella thought it would be a swell idea to give Ripken a jersey signed by the entire Mariners team.

The Mariners may have won 116 games that season, but when your jersey has names like Bret Boone and Jay Buhner plastered across it, it's not the best look. Best-case scenario? Ripken is able to decipher the Ichiro Suzuki signature on it.

The Marlins Give Bobby Cox a Whole Bunch of Nothing

Dave Tulis/Associated Press

Before they were the Miami Marlins, they were the Florida Marlins. And those Florida Marlins decided not to honor one of the game's greatest managers when he stepped away from baseball after 30 years.

Cox didn't receive as many gifts as Jones or Jeter did, but teams did pay homage to him when he stepped into their ballparks. The Marlins chose a different route—the one far less traveled. They didn't show Cox any sort of love and kept things moving.

A bottle of wine, a donation to a charity, heck, even time on the scoreboard works. But a handful of nothing? That's terrible (Charles Barkley voice).

Future Awful Retirement Gifts

Matt Dunham/Associated Press

Who Could Hate These?

The previous gifts got us to thinking. What would be some future retirement gifts that would be as bad as some those?

Hmmmm.....

LeBron James: A Signed Picture of Jim Gray and 'The Decision' on Blu-ray

Andrew D. Bernstein/Getty Images

LeBron James' television special, The Decision, was dreadful decision in retrospect.

King James has two championships under his belt now and that's fine. It's tough to question him leaving Cleveland for Miami. However, the way he handled it was appalling.

When James eventually comes to the realization that his NBA career is done in 10 years or so, the worst gift he can receive would be a memory of that fateful night.

Whoever remembers this slide and sends James an autographed picture of Jim Gray—the man who hosted The Decision—and a Blu-ray copy of it wins. You stand up, push your chair out like George Costanza and walk out of the room on a high note.

Sean Payton: The New Orleans Saints 2012 Season Yearbook

Dave Martin/Associated Press

Sean Payton is one of the most innovative and offensively gifted head coaches in the NFL. Under his watch, the New Orleans Saints have claimed a Super Bowl title and transformed into a thoroughbred offensive juggernaut.

The one real blemish in the whole Payton era surrounds "Bountygate" and the one-year suspension NFL commissioner Roger Goodell handed the head coach in 2012. 

You couldn't pick a worse gift to hand out to Payton than a team yearbook reflecting on that 7-9 season when Joe Vitt and Aaron Kromer both had turns being the interim head coach.

Floyd Mayweather: The Entire Series of Harry Potter Books

Jordan Strauss/Associated Press

Floyd Mayweather's public feud with everyone's favorite rapper, 50 Cent, has been hyped up to the moon and back as of late.

Fiddy basically said Mayweather can't read, which resulted in a back and forth about who has more money. The feud itself is boring and means nothing. Hopefully these dudes can either settle it with a handshake or in the ring. But the one funny thing to come out of all of this is the fact that 50 challenged Floyd to read a single page of any Harry Potter book.

The moment Mayweather retires, he must be sent the entire collection—preferably in hardcover form. This has nothing to do with his reading skills. No, what this will do is give Floyd a chance to enjoy some light reading while he uses stacks of firmly banded $100 bills as bookmarks.

Nick Saban: The Goalpost from the 2013 Iron Bowl

Brynn Anderson/Associated Press

Nick Saban has worked his coaching magic ever since he arrived in Tuscaloosa. Saban's coaching pedigree in college football is unmatched right now. His three BCS National Championships have helped reinvigorate one of the most iconic programs in all of sports.

The end of Saban's run with the Alabama Crimson Tide will surely be a depressing time for the program. Odds are, when he's ready to move on, he'll be given the keys to the city and a ton of stellar parting gifts.

If Auburn wanted to get in on the fun, they could send Saban a piece of the goalpost from the 2013 Iron Bowl.

You know, the one where Alabama kicker Adam Griffith missed a long field-goal attempt and it was returned for a game-winning touchdown? Even though Saban's team lost, the game itself was an instant classic. Still, it's a safe bet to assume that he wouldn't be thrilled to see a piece of that goalpost come rolling through his front door.

All MLB, NBA, NHL, college football and NFL information and stats provided by ESPN.com, unless noted otherwise.