A Message to New York Giants, Dallas Cowboys, and Washington Redskins Fans

David StoutContributor IJuly 7, 2009

EAST RUTHERFORD, NJ - DECEMBER 17:  Jeremy Shockey #80 of the New York Giants can't come up with a reception as Brian Dawkins #20 of the Philadelphia Eagles defends on December 17, 2006 at Giants Stadium in East Rutherford, New Jersey. The Eagles defeated the Giants 36-22.  (Photo by Jim McIsaac/Getty Images)

Gnats, Cowturds, and Deadskins fans kill me.  No other fans live in the past more than these frauds. 

When I go to the gas pump I'm paying the price right now, not what it was two years ago. 

Get over yourselves. We're talking about this upcoming year. The only thing anyone has to go on is last season and the offseason. 

So let's start with last season. 

The Eagles beat the Gnats two out of three times and split with the Girlyboys (but what happened when it mattered? The '89 Cowboys would've put up a better test). 

The down side is that the Eagles got swept by the most insignificant team in the NFL. But, as I said they are insignificant and pose no real threat at all. 

Now to the offseason. When a team plays in the NFC Championship game and follows that up with arguably the best offseason in the league, that means they've improved. 

Say it with me now, IM-PROVED! Yes, that’s it. 

It is absolutely ridiculous that Gnats and Girly fans are so blind to the fact that they are now playing second and third fiddle to the more superior Eagles. 

Don't think back, look ahead.  Do that and you'll see nothing but the rear ends of the Eagles as they will be in front all year. 

I read a post from a Cowgirls fan that said something about the Cowboys winning the Super Bowl this year!


You gotta be kidding me. They might as well let the fans coach that team.

If you can't get up for a game against a major rival, the last week of the season, in a game that means win and you're in the playoffs, how can you expect to win a Super Bowl. Sphincters that game were nonexistent, and that wasn't even the big show. 

The Eagles sphincters, however, were wide open as they were dumping fecal matter all over the Cowturds faces that day. (I know this comment is going to get some feedback, but the point remains)

To the Giants: While your team poses the biggest threat to the Eagles in the NFC, you've still got a quarterback who can't throw to anyone that doesn't shoot themselves in the leg. 

You've got a running back built like a Mac truck with the crash rating of a Ford Festiva. 

And, are there any wide receivers on this team? I'll have to Wikipedia that one, because I'm not sure. 

While the Giants defense looks incredible up front (I'll give you that), what's going on in the backfield? With the Eagles offensive line, I could throw for 300 yards against the Gnats. 


The Redskins?  Ugh...where do I start? 

To upgrade a defense, that already ranked in the top five (four to be exact), with a defensive tackle that could be expected to provide, maybe 25 more tackles and three to four more sacks compared to the platoon effort of the existing defensive tackles, seems to be a waste to me.

Why not upgrade an offense, with a decent offensive line and quarterback (who if given the chance to play in one system for more than two years would flourish), by getting better wide receiver play?  Redskins receivers combined for 159 catches, 1,856 yards, and 11 TDs. 



Let's all remember that roughly 450 of those yards came from Santana Moss in three games. Moss had 1,044 yards last year but he only really helped in three games. 

Inconsistency from the wide receiver position seems to be more of a problem than the defensive line.   

Say it with me, IN-CON-SIS-TEN-CY.  Yes, that's it. 

Thank all that is holy for idiots in the front office of the Deadskins. DeAngelo Hall?  Great pickup, if you're a wideout in the NFC East. 


Now, the Sacred Birds: 

Lose an aging, albeit great, left tackle and replace him with a better, younger one. 

Lose an aging, albeit great, right tackle and replace him with a better, younger one already on the team. 

Bring in a Pro Bowl caliber right tackle and move him to right guard. 

Lose Brian Dawkins (75 tackles, three sacks, six forced fumbles, and one interception) and replace him with Sean Jones (56 tackles, one forced fumble, and four interceptions). 

Bring in one of the best fullbacks in the game.

Draft a top ten talent in Jeremy Maclin, a top four running back (LeSean McCoy) in this year’s class, and a tight end (Cornelius Ingram) that when healthy, slightly resembles a young Jason Witten in ability. 

Now I'm a lifelong Eagles fan so obviously I'm biased, but we are also the most knowledgeable fan base in all of sports. 

In closing...GO BIRDS!!!!!


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