Arizona Cardinals: An In-Depth Review By 2nd And Wrong

Hello again!

This being our first official post, I think it goes without saying that it’s probably best to take it slow. After all, we’re just ordinary people. No need to jump right in and spend the next two hours awkwardly wrestling with certain topics, only to be left completely disturbed and unsatisfied.

So slow it is.

Since we have zero history to draw from or build on, we might as well start big. What we’ll do for the next little while is go through the last 10 or so months in the football world.

We’re not going to really examine how everyone did because that season is already over and we know how it all shook out. What we will do is look at what teams had and how they addressed their deficiencies in the offseason.

Essentially, we’ll be recapping each team’s draft and off-season acquisitions, as well as adding in our own suggestions and expert insight. Because we’re the best. Hell yeah.

These will be divided up between my partner and myself, so you won’t hear from both of us on each team. I’m sure there are points where we’ll disagree and we’ll probably bring those disagreements to light on the blog.

We will also review a few teams twice, just because there are certain teams that I absolutely hate and refuse to say anything nice about. Come to think of it, we’ll each review the Bengals and the Chargers, just because they’re each of our favourites. In the essence of fairness, of course.

Note: we HAVE already picked our four teams to shamelessly praise, so see if you can pick them out in the coming preview reviews. We’ll also be doing this alphabetically, just so you don’t get any hints. And if you do pick them out, don’t bother seeking our approval. We won’t let the answer slip until the end of the season.

Without further ado:

ARIZONA CARDINALS

By: Benjamin Martin

The defending NFC champs. Talk about a surprise. Or talk about saving it for when it counts. They really played that situation well. And at the same time you had the Patriots fans crying about it because their team went like 11-5 and didn’t make it.

If, after half the season, you had clinched your division title and a playoff berth, why not rest up? Had Kurt Warner handled the ball better on the goal line in the second half, the Cardinals would’ve won the Super Bowl.

Oh well. I think we can all agree that Larry Fitzgerald has a big ass and big, manly hands. And that Anquan Boldin is a grown ass man.

Aside from the Fitz’s anatomy though, let’s look at the team’s strengths and weaknesses. Straight up, this is one of those “I don’t know how they do it” teams, like the 2008 Super Bowl Giants. Well, I know how they did that. They spent the whole game in and around Tom Brady’s butthole, that’s how they did thatt. But seriously, this is one of those teams where everyone just decides to show up at the same time and they click.

Depth-wise, on paper the Cardinals don’t seem too bad. That could be why they made the Super Bowl. This stuff is definitely my true calling. For real though, not many weaknesses on paper.

On offense, they have the most dynamic WR duo in the league, bar none (and seriously, Boldin needs to realize that his elite level of play is tied directly to the presence of Fitzgerald, and vice versa. Leaving Arizona would hurt both their values and production), and with that they have one of the best No. 3 WRs as well.

Kurt Warner writes a new will daily, but he’s still one of the better options in the league. He’s at least top 32, so he deserves a starting spot somewhere, and with the best people in the game to throw to, he’s got room to work with. Leinart needs to get his shit together or else he’s going to lose what could be a very good team.

Their ground game has been their biggest problem in recent years, so they addressed that in the draft. They just did it totally wrong. Now, you’ll find in the coming months that we have a strict view on the running game, and the offense in general. It all comes from the offensive line. No blocks, no holes = no yards. That’s math. It’s an equation.

LaDainian Tomlinson didn’t get all those TDs because he perfected the spin move. He got them because his line mauled people, and then he got all these one-on-ones in the open field. When you’re as shifty as he is, you tend to win those. He did a lot of the work by himself, but no O-line means lots of those TDs disappear.

The Cardinals wanted to fix their running game, but they went about it all wrong. They signed an over-the-hill Edgerrin James, who is a role player (role: running behind a great line in Indianapolis into the box that was only filled with 3 guys because everyone was back in coverage trying to stop Peyton).

Edge wasn’t going to carry any loads, not at that age. Tim Hightower showed up last year while Edge was busy crying, and then they went out and drafted Chris "Beanie" Wells in the first round. Not necessarily a bad pick, except I’m pretty sure he has health issues and that the way he runs doesn’t exactly compliment Hightower.

Wells is a big back, but I don’t know if he’s exactly a bruiser. He’s supposed to be fast, though I think he shit the bed at the combine. A 4.59 is fast for a running back his size, but you already have Hightower, so why not go with the DeAngelo Williams-style compliment? It seems like he’s kind of a tweener. He’s big, and fast for his size, but when he tries to lower the boom, he gets carted off the field. Not saying it happens all the time, but Ray Lewis broke Rashard Mendenhall’s shoulder by hitting him, so there’s some pain dished out in the big leagues.

Apparently Wells also clocked a 4.34 at his Pro Day. But that was at his Pro Day. I just find it odd, having a power back, and then drafting a back that is seemingly just a quicker power back. Except he can’t take the hits a power back can.

What they should have done was find some way to get their hands on an offensive lineman. If you want a better running game, get better blocking. I can run through open holes and I’m not a running back. You can always use an upgrade on the line, always. Just think about all the great runners and offenses in the league, and then look at their O-line. I’ll bet you know a lot of the names on it.

I only know Levi Brown on the Cards. And Mike Gandy. That’s two out of 5. And they’ve only got two first-day players on the line (players taken in round 1 or 2). The draft isn’t just a random picking of players. The best are usually taken first. Sure, you can be like Ryan Leaf! Ki-Jana Carter! Akili Smith! But then I’ll be like Peyton Manning bitch, sit down.

The Cards waited until the 5th and 7th round to address the line, and that just won’t be enough. There weren’t a lot of players available with the 31st pick, but Eben Britton went 7th in the 2nd round. Trade down, get a little more value, and don’t waste a pick.

On defense, this team showed up to play. Like good gosh darn. They have a pretty damn good line, and it showed (not that it takes much for Ben Roethlisberger to play terribly GO BENGALS).

They spent a second round pick on a DE, which to me seems like a bit of a waste when you have other needs you could address. I’m of the mindset that you want to get good at all your positions, instead of just getting someone really good and then having everyone else be okay. You don’t go into the river in poker holding just one ace. You need at least a straight draw or a flush draw or a pair to make something happen.

Their linebacking corps is pretty solid and probably the weakest link in their defense. Their secondary is impressive, with one of the best safeties in the NFL with Adrian Wilson.

Their biggest weakness on defense though, if you watched the Super Bowl, is Dominique Rodgers-Cromartie. If after the game you asked yourself “When did Santonio Holmes become that good?” the answer would be he didn’t. Cromartie blew coverage after coverage on him all night. Then again they weren’t so much blown coverages as he’d just give him too much space and then get beaten because he can’t tackle to save his life like 95% of the cornerbacks in the league.

Cromartie handed him nearly every catch. That game-winner was a shame too. It was covered about as good as it could have been, and fades like that to the back corner are very tough to defend. But it should never have come to that point because a) Cromartie should’ve at least pretended he belonged in the NFL by covering him for at least HALF the game and 2) even I knew Ben was going to roll out of the pocket and try to run it on that play, but the defensive line must’ve thought he was a good passer or something so they stayed (don’t know where they got that idea from).

Other than that, this defense has pretty much all you could ask for. Good pass rush thanks to Dockett and Co. Great secondary (except for Cromartie, but he was a rookie so he’s got an excuse… for now). Not too much I would’ve done on that defense. It was just an issue of motivation.

The only thing I would’ve done is tried to get a good, solid LB or do the basic thing and look at improving the line, in this case the D-line. Evander Hood went one pick later, Laurinatis went in the top of the second, etc.

There were lots of things they could’ve done on defense instead of upgrading the famed “pass rush”. The Cards, being the 31st overall team and having the resulting picks, didn’t have much to work with, but I think they could’ve handled it a bit better.

In free agency the Cards didn’t make much of a splash either. They resigned Warner, which was probably their best bet because Matt Leinart is perennially unable to get his shit together, and they mostly just stuck with resigning their other players.

They signed Anthony Becht, TE, who at 6’5” 280lbs is more of a glorified extension to the O-line, and that is perfectly fine with me. The Cards also stole Dominique Byrd, TE, from the Rams, although they already have enough hands to put the ball in.

They signed Bryant McFadden, CB, a good idea considering Cromartie’s vast inadequacies, but they also cut Rod Hood, CB, so I guess they have faith in Cromartie/didn’t watch any tape at all from the Super Bowl. That’s basically it. No big losses for this team, and no big additions either.

They finally told J.J. Arrington to fark off, obviously in the best interest of the business since apparently he’s pretty lazy.

THE SHORT OF IT

Their division is terrible and not getting any better any time soon, so I would expect another playoff appearance. The only team to challenge could be Seattle, but they’re having about as much luck with getting their shit together as Matt Leinart is.

If Cromartie gets his shit together, the team stays motivated when it matters (after week 6 usually, when their 4 wins have eclipsed the rest of the NFC West’s win total for the year) and if Kurt Warner doesn’t develop Alzheimer’s (which is 50/50 at this point) I’d say this team has a chance to make another splash. Not as big, because all you have to do is pressure Warner and it’s game over, but a splash nonetheless.