Brad Pitt As Mayor of New Orleans: Will He Help Brees Age Backwards?

Randy Savoie by Scribe Written on June 24, 2009
LAS VEGAS - DECEMBER 08:  Actors Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt talk before the fight between Ricky Hatton of England and Floyd Mayweather Jr. prior to their WBC world welterweight championship fight at the MGM Grand Garden Arena on December 8, 2007 in Las Vegas, Nevada.  (Photo by Al Bello/Getty Images) (Photo by Al Bello/Getty Images)

Brad Pitt as Mayor of New Orleans?

Don't laugh. The prospect may not as far-fetched as you think.

Tulane professor Thomas Bayer hatched the idea as a gag. A local businessman printed a batch of "Brad Pitt for Mayor" T-shirts and it turned into an international story. The rumor continued to pick up steam when the local newspaper, The Times-Picayune, featured it as a Cover Story in Sunday's Lifestyle section.

Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie moved to New Orleans following Hurricane Katrina as part of their off-screen devotion to humanitarian causes, hoping to focus national attention on the hurricane-ravaged Gulf Coast.

Pitt immediately pledged $3.5 million to construct eco-friendly houses for the homeless—including many former radio announcers—in the city's Ninth Ward. The first six of the 150 homes planned opened this year.

Pitt said, "You have no idea what a high it is for me to see the delight on these people's faces when they see how these homes work."

If Pitt's intention is to run for the city's highest office, so far he is doing and saying a lot of the right things: building houses, kissing babies, petting dogs, cheering on the New Orleans Saints and walking little old ladies across the city's decaying streets

One New Orleans elected official speaking on the condition of anonymity - he went as far as wearing one of those old Saints' bagheads for the interview- said, "I think Brad and his celebrity power could give New Orleans the national attention it needs for both the film industry, global business and a step away from the stain of ( current New Orleans Mayor Ray) Nagin.

All indications are the city's professional football franchise would would have a friend in City Hall if Pitt is elected. He has been spotted frequently cheering on the team at local bars.

One fan who shared a beer with Pitt said, "Brad told us he's really committed to helping rebuild our city. He was really kind and posed for tons of photos. People loved it- especially because he was rooting for the Saints."

In The Curious Case of Benjamin Button, filmed in 2008 in New Orleans, Pitt plays an octogenarian who ages backward. Political insiders say this phenomenon may be a part of Pitt's platform—a promise to reverse the aging process of key Saints players such as Drew Brees, Reggie Bush, Jeremy Shockey, and Marques Colston.

Pitt would take office in 2010 and, theoretically, Brees would revert back to his 2008 season when he passed for over 5,000 yards and came within one long completion of Dan Marino's record of passing yards in a season.

Bush would regain the game-breaking form he displayed at USC while on his way to winning the Heisman Trophy and Shockey would produce the prolific numbers he posted as an All-Pro in New York.

One local political insider observed that given Pitt's commitment to an eco-friendly environment, the new Mayor of New Orleans could obtain a deal with Saints' ownership to transform the Louisiana Superdome into the world's largest greenhouse in the offseason. Proceeds from cash crops could be used to fund the construction of a lavish new environmentally friendly riverfront stadium.

Would Pitt be able to maintain the lofty standards set by the Ray Nagin administration?

Would he be willing to trade his Hollywood lifestyle for the drudgery of City Council meetings?

Would he maintain the commitment needed to curtail the city's alarming murder rate? Could he fix the city's crumbling infrastructure?

Is he prepared to have intimate e-mails exchanges between himself and Angelina revealed to the world if local civil rights attorney Tracie Washington gets in one of her vindictive moods again?

Environmentalists say that Louisiana's coastline is being swallowed up at the rate of one football field every ten minutes. If that is true, the Superdome may be floating away in the Gulf of Mexico before the next mayor's race and this discussion will be irrelevant.

No comment so far from the Pitt camp. Stay tuned.

 

 

 

 

Vote Now! - Author Poll

Would you vote for Brad Pitt for Mayor

  • Yes
  • No
  • Undecided
  • Only if he can make Saints key players age backwards
vote to see results
Results - Author Poll

Would you vote for Brad Pitt for Mayor

  • Yes

    83.0%
  • No

    4.3%
  • Undecided

    2.1%
  • Only if he can make Saints key players age backwards

    10.6%
  • Total votes: 47
(0)
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written on June 24, 2009 Humor

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