Shocking Bill Belichick Draft Interview: He's Freaking Nuts!

Steve FrithCorrespondent IApril 29, 2008

Steve Frith managed to land an interview with Bill Belichick.  Here's what Bill had to say about the draft... 

 SF:  Hi Bill, and thanks for making time to see me. 

BB:  Who the hell are you and what are you doing in my living room!?!? 

SF:  Never mind that-let’s get on with the interview.  Have you lost your freaking mind Bill!?!  You fired the entire team and staff!  What the hell were you thinking!?! 

BB:  Well, let me explain, you see I thi-

SF:  Moron. 

BB:  What?  Did you just call me a moron? 

SF:  No, of course not. Back to the interview.  What were you thinking when you opted to plan on drafting actors and make believe characters? 

BB:  Well, I thin- 

SF:  Moron. 

BB:  There! You said it again! 

SF:  No I didn’t.  Answer the question please. 

BB:  Right.  There is a method to my madness in my drafting choices.  I’ve just yet to figure it out. 

SF: Moron. 

BB:  Hey!  Stop calling me a moron! 

SF:  I’m not, you’re just paranoid.  The only pick people seem to agree with is Chuck Norris.  How do you feel about that? 

BB:  Well, I thin…..I think……………thanks for not calling me a moron. 

SF:  Sure thing. 

BB:  Any ways, I thin- 

SF:  Moron. 

BB:  What? 

SF:  I said “go on” Bill. 

BB:  Right, what I was thinking was that with such an outrageous team, no one will know what to do against us, and no one will be able to stop us. 

SF:  Moron. 

BB:  Huh? 

SF:  You do realize that half of these characters are made up and really don’t exist, don’t you? 

BB:  What!  Why didn’t any one tell me! 

SF:  Maybe because you fired your staff.  You remember your staff, right?  The people that would’ve kept you from doing such a stupid thing Bill?  Moron. 

BB:  Ohhhhh, that’s right, I probably should-hey, did you call me a moron again? 

SF:  Nope. 

BB:  I’ll have to get my PR guy on this ASAP. 

SF:  You’re PR guy is Darth Vader-a fictional character from a series of movies. 

BB:  Yep, and do you remember how he choked and killed that one guy?  No one will ever give Darth any problems. 

SF:  And you’ve got Chuck Norris as the entire special teams…don’t you think that he just might not enter the NFL draft? 

BB:  He’ll be there, you just watch.  Remember when he showed up in the movie Dodgeball out of no where?  He’ll be at the draft, you wait and see. 

SF:  You said that you’re going to go 38-0, yet you’ll only play 19 games if you make it to the Super Bowl. 

BB:  We’ll win every game twice.  We won nearly every game once last season, so I figure with this team we can win every game twice.  It’ll be all to easy, like taking candy from a BB.  Get it!  I made a funny! 

SF:  Moron. 

BB:  I know…I mean HEY!   Stop doing that! 

SF:  I think we’re done here Bill. 

BB:  Right, thanks for the interview. 

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