Dual-wielding steaks: the Rob Gronkowski way.
Calling Rob Gronkowski a “meat and potatoes kind of guy” is like noting fish are into “that whole water thing.” As common knowledge as this may be, it’s still difficult to appreciate how they breathe.
The latest and greatest example of Gronkowski’s carnivorous ways surfaced on Monday night. The New England Patriots tight end grabbed two giant hocks of meat-on-the-bone and tweeted out a dinner picture that would make a Cro-Magnon man blush.
Take it in, football fans. In between painting in caves and fleeing for their lives, this is what our ancestors did. They wore dress-casual V-necks and dual-wielded steaks.
Gronkowski utilized a fitting hash tag in his tweet, writing “#freddieFlinstoneGotNuttinOnMe.”
In this spirit, I’ve found an artist’s rendering of Gronkowski and friends taking home their leftovers.
There would be no leftovers for Gronkowski, however.
Gronkowski’s steak picture comes on the heels of good news for Patriots fans. According to NFL Network's Albert Breer (h/t Mike Hacku of Patriots.com), the 24-year-old tight end visited with Dr. James Andrews last week. Andrews deemed him to be “right where he needs to be.”
Considering Gronkowski suffered both a torn ACL and MCL playing against the Cleveland Browns in December, the speed of his recovery is a distinctly positive sign for a franchise plagued with injuries.
Spread the word, everyone. The Gronk is back on track and devouring pounds of red meat as the gods intended.
Two hands. Two steaks. No problems.