Dana "King D" White: Respect My Authoritah! And TUF!

Margus LCorrespondent IJune 19, 2009

You may have noticed my recent change of heart regarding Dana White - so I hope to put in perspective with this article ;)

But, first things first - the Nick Name for Dana - as I came to a conclusion after writing my last article about Urijah - http://bleacherreport.com/articles/202524-mma-urijah-is-a-fighter - Dana White most resembles King David from the Bible - a guy who is as ruthless as it can be yet his accomplishments are hard to overlook.

So Dana White - pardon all the trash I have talked about you - the bashing over the woman journalist comment, the foul F words you use to attack everyone and everybody, the dirty tricks you played on this years TUF contestants by putting training-partner against training-partner in USA round 1, the things you say about my favorite fighters like Kimbo and Fedor, I will never ever say bad words no more about the referees you hire (or fire), and I will not complain if you fire some of my favorite fighters like Scott Smith and War Machine.

I have seen the error of my ways and I bow down to my King! You are my hero Dana White - and I hope you can forgive in your grace to the simple yet inbreeded stupid peasant like me. My only hope is that you can put it behind and offer me a job serving you - nothing would please me more than to work for your MMA organization - no work is too little or insignifant when it comes to serving you - I can clean toilets, wash your dishes, be on my hands and knees to clean up that spit you tried to throw on an unsuspecting journalist - anything at all - anything you can think of do I will do, and I will expect no thanks, no gratitude - you can call me a fucking moron any time you want - I will be your loyal servant till the end of my days, I am not even going to complain if you decide to double-cross me and stab me in my back (like King David did to his best warrior Uriah). I WILL BE YOUR LOYAL SERVANT TILL DEATH!

I could even help you script the show for The Ultimate Fighter TUF - had I been on this years show - I would have told Dan Henderson to call a foul in the end - jump in the ring - call Wilks a cheat and push him around - which would have then caused Michael Bisping to enter the ring and fist fight between them would have ensued which in turn would have cause all the TUF contestants to fight each other - WWE Royal Rumble style - I would have ended the show with a BANG! BIG BADA BOOM!!!

Your wisdom, King D. is endless, your kingdom is big and I love all the good work you have done for peasants like us - 9 seasons of The Ultimate Fighter have taken over my life, I can't wait for season 10 with Kimbo Slice - and I bow to my knees and thank you for the uber-awesome TUF Finale this Saturday FREE on spike (Thank you so much for even giving broke-ass white trash like me the opportunity to enjoy the MMA!!!)

Yours truly - your most loyal servant from now on till the end of my days,