The Toronto Blue Jays are a dirty, dirty team.
They think they're so smooth out there, picking up anything at will, and then throwing it away when they've had their fill. They dive and slide all over the field and just get plain filthy.
Even worse, the Jays never call the day after.
I feel so cheap.
While the featured story between the Jays and Philadelphia Phillies is the 1993 World Series, and whatever bad blood that remains, this series is really about the kind of forbidden love these two teams share.
A love for playing defense.
Yes, that's right. This series is being played between two defensive dynamos. Coming into last night's game the Jays and Phillies were tied for first in MLB with Minnesota, sporting a .990 fielding percentage. These teams are flashing more leather than Fonzie.
That was yesterday. Today both teams have fallen to a .989 fielding percentage, after two errors were committed in last night's game. For shame.
Obvious sarcasm aside, the Jays are playing some serious defense.
Marco Scutaro, besides reinventing himself as a terrific leadoff hitter, has proven that Jays don't need John McDonald playing shortstop for a lights out guy in the field.
Scutaro is tops in MLB with a .997 fielding percentage among shortstops. He's committed only one error and helped turn 45 double plays.
Lyle Overybay has cemented himself as a great defensive first baseman this year. Overbay has a sterling 1.000 fielding percentage with zero errors. Splitting time with Kevin Millar and cracking jokes with the runner has not detracted from Loverbay's focus.
Vernon Wells is tied for first among center fielders with a perfect 1.000 fielding percentage. Say what you will about his hitting woes, but recognize that Wells is a superior defender with great range.
In right field, Alex Rios has a .993 fielding percentage with only one error. That's good for fifth among his peers.
Scott Rolen is posting a .964 fielding percentage at third base. At a position where line drives are being fired at his head with little warning, Rolen has committed only five errors.
Even if you manage to sneak a ball past these guys, you had better think twice about stealing.
Rod Barajas is sixth among catchers by throwing out batters at a .300 clip. He also manages a respectable .986 fielding percentage.
I'm quickly thinking of a nickname for this defense.
Big Glove? Sounds like it's been done.
Deep Blue? Because they make no errors? I like it, and Gary Kasparov hits like a girl so we're covered.
How about the, "The Blues Jays", because hitters will be feeling down after getting robbed of hits. Harmonica must then be played after every great play by Toronto.
Maybe if announcers just start saying the hitters are hitting it right into the snaggle-teeth of the Blue Jays defense? Or how about calling ground balls "birdseed"?
I leave it to you, the reader, to decide.
In the meantime, observe as the Jays play defense with a red-hot passion. Don't worry, they won't let you burn.
I'm melting though.