2009 NBA Finals: Luck the Fakers!

Use your ← → (arrow) keys to browse more stories
2009 NBA Finals: Luck the Fakers!

Luck the Fakers. 

That's all I gotta say. 

It has been seven years since the Los Angeles Lakers have won a title. 

Now those years are over. 

Tonight Kobe Bryant and the Los Angeles Lakers won the 2009 NBA Finals. 

I had to sit through the dreadful images of Kobe Bryant, Phil Jackson, as well as the ugly Purple and Gold army all smiling, cheering, popping champagne bottles, and soon those very same images shall grace the cover of almost every sports magazine in the world.

And for this Portland Trail Blazers fan...that sucks.

Luck the Fakers.

They took the Utah Jazz out without flexing a muscle. They survived a rock hard Houston Rockets team that lost their centers to postseason injuries. Then they exposed a far more talented Denver Nuggets team as not mature enough to handle the pressure of winning the Western Conference Finals.

It took them five games to defeat the Orlando Magic, a powerful team, and win the 2009 NBA title.

After losing a heartbreaking loss in Game Four, The Orlando Magic were simply out of spells. When they went "Abracadabra!" nothing happened.

There was no rabbit they can pull out of a hat. 

Orlando played the 2009 NBA Finals as if all they wanted to do was put up a good fight. 

The Lakers played for history. 

Kobe Bryant is going to join Tim Duncan and Shaquille O'Neal as a four time champion in the 2000s era of professional basketball.   

Phil Jackson is going to win his 10th title as a head coach. He will have a ring for every finger on his body. His record will not be broken for at least two decades...if not more.

That sucks. 

I predicted The Fakers would lose. I yawned at the idea of Kobe playing LeBron. 

And I rooted for the Orlando Magic.  

But in the end, the most exciting NBA playoffs in a few years went out not with a bang...but a whisper.

My least favorite group of people hoisted the trophy I have wanted my city to re-hoist for 32 years.

But...

Let the luckin' Fakers hoist their title for 2009.

The NBA, the sports community, and the world needed Kobe Bryant to win his fourth ring without Shaq. 

Let this be the year. 

The year it was not handed to them...but rather a year they earned it by playing defense that I refer to as the "python attack." 

Once the luckin' Fakers get their defense wrapped around you...they just tighten and tighten their grip until you are crushed.

So good for you, Fakers.

Your team is full of pretty boy bums. Your fans only get loud when the beer kicks in.  And your All Stars are going to get their ass whooped sometime in the near future by a team from a rainy valley in the Cascade Mountains...

Luckin' Fakers.

Bring it next season.

Then...

Bring it in the playoffs 2010.

Go Blazers!

Load More Stories

Follow Los Angeles Lakers from B/R on Facebook

Follow Los Angeles Lakers from B/R on Facebook and get the latest updates straight to your newsfeed!

Out of Bounds

Los Angeles Lakers

Subscribe Now

We will never share your email address

Thanks for signing up.