Duck and cover, Cheeseheads!
Brett Farve—who retired but may not have actually RETIRED, retired will grace the cover of Madden NFL 2009.
You poor, fake cheese hat wearing bastards have no idea what's about to hit your fair city.
Hardcore gamers and NFL tinfoil-hat wearing fans know what happens when a NFL star is put on the cover of the most coveted sports video game.
The Madden Curse!
Just prior to the turn of the century, John Madden, the former Oakland Raiders coach and jolly, fat man analyst plastered his own rounded features on to the cover of his product.
In 1999, that changed.
Perhaps marketers felt an NFL athlete's star power sold more copies than Madden's portrait ever could. Besides, if you look at Madden he's got a touch of the crazy-eyes and always looks like he's thinking about a cheeseburger or maybe that hammer he bought at ACE hardware.
Whatever the case, in 1999, Garrison Hearst was given the honor of being the first NFL star to get the cover. Hearst was having a banner year with the 49ers until he suffered such a badly broken ankle, he didn't play again until 2001. That, my friends, is one helluva' break.
Let's run down the list:
2000: Dorsey Levens' career went pretty much nowhere following his shot at Madden NFL glory. He disappeared from the game in 2004 and now, allegedly, sits at home obsessively playing Madden, trying to figure out what went wrong.
2001: Eddie George had a great set a numbers in 2001 but fell off the charts the following season and for the rest of his career, averaged 3.4 yards per carry.
2002: Daunte Culpepper saw his season come to an end during the 11th game of a brutal season that garnered him almost as many interceptions as it did touchdowns.
2003: Marshall Faulk suffered an ankle injury and missed five games that season.
2004: Michael Vick fractured his right fibula in a preseason game against Baltimore. By the time he got back, the Atlanta Falcons were already long since past hoping for a Super Bowl ring. Oh, and then there was that thing with the dogs or something ...
2005: Ray Lewis didn't net a single interception that season following a career high six the season before. Police intercepted him, however, in 2000 when he was indicted for murder and aggravated assault. He got off and was named Super Bowl MVP but did not get his trip to Disneyland.
2006: Donovan McNabb suffered a particularly nasty hernia after he was given the cover. It only got worse by continued attempts at playing a QB.
2007: Shaun Alexander suffered a foot fracture and now suffers from chronic unemployment.
2008: Vince Young is the only one who hasn't suffered any career-altering fate although he DOES play for Tennessee.
So, in 2009, Brett Favre is the man. However, he is retired (maybe). That would mean the curse is likely to hit the city of Green Bay, not the man itself -- unless he comes out of retirement which may still happen although it may not.
Perhaps Brett should come out of retirement for one last kick at the can, one more great season, one final shot at another Super Bowl ring.
Then again, without Brett, what shot has the team got of making another post-season? Probably a decent shot ... but still, maybe the curse has already struck Green Bay! Maybe Brett's retirement was the first in a long line of Madden NFL misfortunes. Maybe hellfire and brimstone will rain down and melt the mozzarella!
Like I said, duck and cover, Cheeseheads, it's going to be a long season.
13 comments Last one added about 1 year ago — Leave a Comment
Kevin Cacabelos about 1 year ago
Shaun Alexander not only suffered a foot fracture, but suffered from bad seasons after the cover and is now unemployed
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Tim Parent about 1 year ago
Updating the info Kev! Thanks!
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Adam Lindemer about 1 year ago
Seeing as how this is the first retiree on the cover, the curse could now be broken. It has affective all the ACTIVE players, and what a list that is. If the curse follows Favre for some reason, it will be him falling off his tractor, or in some hunting accident (lets's just hope that doesn't happen). Hard to argue that it's been 10 years of bad coincidences though.
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Michael Whittenberg about 1 year ago
I somewhat agree with Adam except for the falling off a tractor part.
But this could break the curse. It might sound dumb—but I actually believe in this stupid curse.
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Clement Fauquet about 1 year ago
Really funny ! Good article !!
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Tim Parent about 1 year ago
Thanks Clement!
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Anthony Grethel about 1 year ago
I believe Brett Favre's curse is him not coming back to the NFL.
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Stephen Zsiga about 1 year ago
Even with Young last year, he got injured vs the Buccaneers in Tampa, and still throws more INTs than TDs each year, yet still somehow finds himself in pro bowl talks.
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Tim Parent about 1 year ago
It is indeed a question for the ages.
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David Thomas about 1 year ago
Nice article, very funny!
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Tim Parent about 1 year ago
Thanks David! I'm still prayin' for Green Bay. They deserve a better fate.
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Raider D Richardson about 1 year ago
Maybe if the packers do awful this year, the other good teams will follow.
FINAL CONCLUSION: We don't have to watch the teams go to the playoffs :)!!!!!!!
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Raider D Richardson about 1 year ago
I meant to put "the SAME teams go to the playoffs
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