Ronaldo, Kaka, and Barry Leave: Now Arsene Wenger Must Move to Chelsea!

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Ronaldo, Kaka, and Barry Leave: Now Arsene Wenger Must Move to Chelsea!
(Photo by Claudio Villa/Getty Images)

As you all would have heard by now, Manchester United have accepted a world-record £80 million bid from Real Madrid for Cristiano Ronaldo.

That's right—Cristiano Ronaldo is apparently only worth £20 million less than Newcastle United!

Unless Ronaldo does something miraculous and actually sticks to his word after saying he was happy at United and will be there next season, Madrid would have added another Galactico to their ranks just days after securing the transfer of Kaka.

The deal would mean that Madrid have broken the world-record transfer fee twice in the last three days, a definite exclamation of intent.

These transfers come a little over a week after Gareth Barry left for Manchester City, meaning that, by the 11th of June, the three biggest transfer sagas of recent times are already over.

Last summer, the main talk was about Ronaldo and Barry, while in January it was Kaka that filled the most column inches.

So the question that raises is...what on earth are the journalists in the papers, or indeed the budding journalists here on Bleacher Report, going to write about this summer?

With Ronaldo out of the question, Barry out of the question, Kaka out of the question, and Real Madrid's manager out of the question, there is nothing left to write about for the speculative writers!

Unfortunately, this will probably lead to more sensationalist rumours and sagas than usual.

No doubt Liverpool will have to sell Steven Gerrard, Fernando Torres, Javier Mascherano, Xabi Alonso, Pepe Reina, Jamie Carragher, Daniel Agger, and their half of the Mersey river simply to stay afloat and not "do a Leeds."

Rafael Benitez will also become Chelsea's new manager after Carlo Ancelotti is sacked for losing his first pre-season game in charge, before Benitez himself gets the boot for failing to win the prestigious Community Shield.

Speculation will be rife to his successor before Arsene Wenger, who has meanwhile been linked to the vacant Liverpool post and the not-so-vacant Real Madrid, Tottenham, and France posts, steps up to the plate.

Wenger won't last long, though, as defeat in his fourth match means Chelsea lose their most prized possession, the UWCC title.

Emmanuel Adebayor will have agreed personal terms with AC Milan, but then the horrible realisation that he will actually have to move, something he doesn't take too kindly to, would creep up on him, prompting to offer his services as an Emmanuel Adebayor tribute statue outside the Emirates.

Finally, Cesc Fabregas, David Villa, and Chuck Norris (in that order) would have been added to Real Madrid's Galactico list, each breaking the new world-record transfer budget before they realise there is a recession going on.

OK, so maybe things won't get that speculative. After all, we still have Carlos Tevez, right?

 

Quiz Question No. 8 Answer:

Hernan Crespo from Parma to Lazio for £35,500,000

 

Quote No. 8:

"He [Cristiano Ronaldo] bears comparison with George Best—the incomparable George Best."—David Pleat

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