The Ballad of Jason Capizzi

My hero, Myron Cope, often admitted he had a weakness for poetry.

Once, after calling the Steelers post-game show in 1989, he gave me “10 merits and 27 gold stars” for a poem I read on the air (from a pay phone), celebrating the Steelers’ 27-14 victory against Minnesota that turned the season around.

Of course, who could forget how the Terrible Towel’s presence was cemented by a listener’s poem, or Cope’s famous ode to a couple of Pittsburgh Maulers’ wide receivers— “Butts and Potts!”

But the presence on the Steelers’ roster of Gibsonia native Jason Capizzi, not to mention an offensive line in need of restructuring, has, yes, inspired me to verse!

So, in the hopes of a new local star being produced, I give you “The Ballad of Jason Capizzi.”

Who to replace Smith and Simmons on the Steelers offensive line?

Will it be Starks? Stapleton? Someone new this time?

How ‘bout someone to appease those with dirty minds?

Jason Capizzi—he’s 6 foot 9!

Ahead of him on the roster are Essex and Hills        

They have the rings; they make opponents write wills

But there’s gotta be a place for the transfer from Pitt

Cause I think 6 foot 9 can pick up the blitz!

Oh, at IUP he was all honey and milkin!

He only gave up one sack—a stat worthy of Tunch Ilkin!

Is there any way to have three tackles on the line?

We want Capizzi at 6"9'!

They laughed when Gene Upshaw moved from tackle to guard

Blocking and trapping—can it really be that hard?

I just want Big Ben to have plenty of time

AND HE’LL GET IT—FROM CAPIZZI—AT 6 FOOT 9!