Less than a week after the Capitals put out one of the most beautiful but awful holiday videos in sports history, the Bruins have released “The Bear and the Gang: Christmas Spectacular.”
As the name suggests, it is spectacular.
The video features Bruins players, the mascot, announcer Jack Edwards, coach Claude Julien, anthem singer Rene Rancourt and team president Cam Neely.
A gloriously weird amalgamation of holiday-ness, the Bruins’ Christmas Spectacular may be enough to move you to tears.
Brad Marchand winks at you.
Julien stares at Japanese macaques through a miniature telescope.
Patrice Bergeron stands in a meadow with a weed wacker.
All of these are normal things in snowy Boston, of course. We all know a crisp winter day doesn’t pass in Massachusetts without Rancourt riding a sled sideways with a brown bear.
Rancourt, well known among Bruins fans for his soaring voice and ability to conjure flames with an old-fashioned microphone, delivers an a cappella rendition of “Deck the Halls.”
The players seem unaware of the music, as they’re too busy hoisting plates of ham and holding lumber axes. When you’re mixing hot cocoa with a giant woodland predator, you tend to forget who’s singing what.
Note the Stanley Cup in the corner adorned with the lamp from A Christmas Story. That’s called “attention to detail,” folks.
This video may not be enough to make today the third greatest day of your life, but it’s close.
The gauntlet has been thrown down, NHL franchises. You can all quit making videos now. The holiday season has been won unequivocally, and its conquerors are strange men from Boston and an affable bear.
Fra-jee-lay...must be Italian.