Oakland Raiders: Dear Raider Fans...Your Team Sucks!

Dave Metrick

Senior Writer Written on April 19, 2008

No, seriously… they’re not very good.

And they’ll prove that once again in the 2008 NFL Draft. Whoever they draft… will suck.

The Raiders’ colors suck, their logo sucks, and the old guy in the sweat suit, he sucks too.

The Raiders are the Michelangelo of sucking.

The Black Hole sucks.

The idiots who turn football games into costume parties suck.

That Raider fan that stabbed the Chargers’ fan a few years back… he sucks.

JaMarcus Russell, LaMont Jordan and Sebastian Janikowski suck.

If they gave the Lombardi Trophy to teams that sucked the most, the Raiders would have 20-30 of them. The Lions would have the rest.

If there were a “Mount Suckmore” Al Davis’ face would be carved into it. Along with Vanilla Ice, Carrot Top and David Hasselhoff.

The Raiders suck more than lima beans, Steely Dan and snowstorms… combined!

This article sucks because it’s about the Raiders.

I suck for having written it.

You suck for having read it.

Earth sucks for being the place where the sucky Oakland Raiders play their sucky games.

Suck, suck, suck, suck, suck!

Now… let the death threats begin!

Suckingly Yours,

Dave

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written on April 19, 2008 Humor

Bleacher Report has a featured columnist opening for Oakland Raiders.

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