I'm not going to lie to you, folks—what you are about to see is epic. And I'm not using "epic" in the faux excited way that accompanies every BuzzFeed list you've ever read. This is actually epic.
On Saturday, the Ohio State marching band performed at halftime and paid homage to several cinematic classics. What transpired was so freaking awesome I felt compelled to write an entire article about it.
Here's the performance.
By my count, the band referenced Superman, Lord of the Rings (how freaking cool is Sauron's eye?), Harry Potter and Jurassic Park (They made the Tyrannosaurus Rex walk!) and had a cute Pirates of the Caribbean routine in which an Ohio State ship sank a Michigan one.
Considering the Wolverines have beaten the Buckeyes just once since 2004, sinking the Michigan ship seemed more like a postgame recap in recent years than a halftime act.
Ohio State may have been in the process of wiping the floor with Penn State, 63-14, but the real star of the show was the marching band. If there were a Heisman Trophy for marching bands, Ohio State would be trending upward and would probably be atop the candidates list after that performance.
If the band could have somehow pulled off Pacific Rim, well, my nerdy little brain might have exploded with happiness.
Of course, this isn't the first time the Ohio State marching band has won the Internet with a performance. Last year, it did a tribute to video games during halftime of Ohio State's matchup against Nebraska.
The Pac-Man routine alone is a winner. Amazing stuff. I was hoping for some Sonic the Hedgehog action, but that might have been a bit difficult to pull off. And if they somehow could have done Portal, well, I'd follow them around the country like a marching band Deadhead.
With the BCS in its final year and four undefeated teams (Alabama, Oregon, Florida State and Ohio State) atop the rankings, maybe we could tweak the rules a bit and have the marching bands decide any tiebreakers.
Strength of schedule?
Strength of choreography and composition?
Sign me up. It's about as precise a system for deciding between equivalent teams as the BCS has proven to be, wouldn't you say?