15 Things No Sports Fan Ever Wants to Hear
While being a sports fan is arguably the one thing we can always rely on to get us through tough days and long, sleepless nights—thanks to all those Sportscenter reruns—sometimes it doesn't always bring such uplifting news.
Even after we think the week will be good following a win by our favorite team on Sunday during NFL season, we turn on the news the next day only to see that something bad has happened that will cost them in the coming games.
Since heartache is a major part of being a sports fan, here are 15 things that every one of us hates to hear—so hopefully these haven't happened to you too often.
Assuming we all take just a normal loss pretty rough, how do you think it feels when your favorite team is on the wrong side of an absolute shellacking?
It doesn't matter what sport it is or what the final score ultimately ends up being, whenever you see a double-digit difference, there's no point in even trying to defend your team's play, because it was pretty poor.
Any Black Eyed Peas Song at a Stadium
What is it with sports executives at major stations loving the Black Eyed Peas?
I understand that the group makes energetic music that happens to go pretty hand-in-hand with the sporting audience, but after hearing the same songs being played to intros and over the stadium speakers since 2004, it's time to just stop already—especially since it continues to happen year-after-year.
I'll admit the group puts on a decent show—yes, I went to a free concert when on assignment with Maxim—but it's time to get the songs as far away from sports fans ears as possible.
"They Fouled at the Buzzer"
You know all those times you hear coaches yell at the top of their lungs, "NO FOULS!" to his players during the end of a game? Well sometimes his guys just don't listen.
As difficult as it is to endure a last-second shot to tie the game, some guy on your favorite team decided to go for the block or steal rather than just going straight-up.
The decision now puts his opponent on the line for a chance to sink the game-winner from the charity stripe.
Anything About Alex Rodriguez or Tim Tebow
Don't worry, I know that I'm contradicting myself here by adding these two overhyped and under-talented athletes, but that's exactly why it's time to put an end to talking about Alex Rodriguez and Tim Tebow—because they're always talked about as if people care.
From now on, I hereby promise to restrain myself from including these two by name in any piece of mine.
A-Rod will simply be known as "The Roided One" with Tebow taking on the moniker of "Former QB No. 15."
"That's It, We're Jinxed"
As I mentioned in a piece the other day, one of the worst feelings for a fan in all of sports is getting the sense that their favorite team is indeed, dare I say it, jinxed or cursed.
Being from Cleveland, I can tell you from my own experience that every single time something bad happens—whether it be a terrible call at a Cavs game, or an absolute miserable interception thrown by a Browns quarterback—it enters our mind.
We're sure fans who support the Cubs can relate to my pain.
"That's the Biggest Upset in History"
Over the years, we've seen both some unthinkable upsets, or ones that at least came pretty damn close to being one.
The stress level is already sky high for any of the fans of the teams who let an underdog hang around for too long, so when the favorite actually loses it's something that can never be forgotten about.
Everyone loves to see David steal one in a battle with Goliath—unless it's your team they're getting the best of.
"No Dude, We Actually Lost"
This is a special shout-out to all those Saints fans who thought they had the game against the Patriots all wrapped-up this past Sunday.
Hell, I even admit that I turned it off after Pats quarterback Tom Brady tossed an interception with a couple minutes left—only to see him get the ball back one final time and toss a last-second touchdown pass to stun New Orleans. It also made Coach Rob Ryan really sad.
When I saw the highlights at the bar at halftime of the Sunday Night game is when I realized I had been duped—now imagine if you were actually a New Orleans fateful and did the same thing I did?
I'm guessing bar tabs in NOLA Sunday night were just a tad outrageous.
"He Just Got Arrested"
No matter how hard all the sports leagues try, athletes are still going to do dumb stuff.
Problem is, sometimes those athletes making the questionable decisions happen to be big-name guys, and yes, they are of course on the team you cheer for.
Whether it's just something small or a crime that will cost the player hard time, getting the details about one of your favorite players getting cuffed is not a good feeling, especially since it leads to the next slide...
"He Just Got Suspended"
Naturally, after getting in trouble, the league decides to steps in to determine just how bad the player's act really was.
As big of a day ruiner as it is to hear a guy got arrested, finding out they'll be restricted from suiting up for a few games is certainly desk-pounding material—it's either out of anger for a guy for your team, or out of joy for being a star who is actually against your squad.
"They Just Traded Their Best Player"
I'm really sorry if this is starting to sound redundant, but being a Cleveland sports fan certainly has its low points—like nearly everything on this list.
When I first found out the news of former Browns running back Trent Richardson being traded, I was on a plane back from Seattle—with still three hours left.
Instead of calling all of my friends to rant about what a bogus decision it was, I had to sit in anger trying not to think how the entire franchise just decided to give up.
Ironically enough, it actually has worked out OK, with the Browns winning three of four since dealing Richardson.
Still, it's something I would never wish on anyone else having to hear.
"The Losing Streak Continues"
Seriously, all hope gets tossed out the window each time a game even starts, knowing all too well that no matter how close the score is, the team you pour your soul out for is not going to come up on the winning end.
On a positive note, when a losing streak ends, fans and players get to celebrate as if it were a title game—but let's hope you never have to experience that.
"He's Probably the Biggest Bust Ever"
Imagine how things could have been for a few franchises had they just gone in a different direction on draft day.
First, look at the Colts and Chargers in 1998, when Indianapolis had to decide whether the face of the franchise would be either Peyton Manning or Ryan Leaf.
Had Indy taken Leaf instead of Manning, it's safe to say they would have been set back a good amount of years.
The Blazers might be hovering around the eight spot each season, but the Thunder are perennial title contenders.
These two guys might not be the biggest busts of all-time, but if you ask their fans how they feel about them, an angry face and eye roll is sure to follow.
"He Sustained a Season-Ending Injury"
No fan likes to see any of their favorite players shrug and bend over in pain, but when you see a knee bend backwards in the opposite direction or a guy's arm get snapped awkwardly—knowing damn well it's going to be serious—the feeling is nearly unexplainable.
First thought is about the athlete, hoping that he's OK.
"That Ends Their Season"
Well, that's all she wrote folks.
After all the long nights of staying up to watch the outcome of overtime games and spending money on beer, food and tickets to games, it's OK to get a little teary-eyed knowing that your team's season ended without a trophy.
As a fan, you can almost feel it happening before it actually does, yet you hold out slim hope that luck will turn around.
Sadly, when it doesn't, you're left depressed and angry that you have to watch another team celebrate—yet again—this season.
"I'm Taking My Talents to (Insert City)"
No joke, as a diehard Cleveland sports fan, the only thing that I actually enjoyed about the whole 'Decision' that former Cavalier LeBron James had was his shirt—which I promptly went out and bought at J. Crew to drown my sorrows.
What can I say, if shopping sprees can help girls get over ex-boyfriends, it can help take the minds of sports fans off of hearing the dreadful words of a superstar player leaving their town to go win titles elsewhere.
OK, I've got to stop, I think I'm getting teary-eyed just thinking about this all over again.