Human beings are a colorful and diverse species.
We have many different creeds and belief systems, but when stripped down to our most basic components, there really are only two kinds of people in this world: hard-bed sleepers and soft-bed sleepers.
Tiger Woods is the former of these two, considering the golf superstar had to resign from a pro-am tournament Wednesday after complications related to sleeping on a soft mattress.
According to The Associated Press (via naplesnews.com), Woods was participating in The Barclays at Liberty National in Jersey City, N.J., when he decided to put away the driver and forgo playing the back nine.
The decision came after a night spent on an unsupportive hotel mattress, which left Woods with a stiff neck and back. This is the part of the article where I skirt around making an off-color joke about hotel mattresses for the sake of our Content Standards department.
While Woods resigned from official participation in the tournament, he did walk the remaining holes with his amateur partners, chipping and putting on occasion.
Woods says he isn’t concerned with his back and that he felt fine later in the day. Reporters asked if he planned to find a new bed for future tournaments, to which Woods smiled.
“We’ll have something,” he said.
All bed jokes aside, Woods was seen clutching his back during the final round of the PGA Championship, and has been playing with an elbow injury this summer.
Also worth mentioning is the fact that he isn’t exactly a young cub anymore. At the age of 37, Woods is reaching that period in life when old-man-itis really begins to sink in.
With that being said, laying on a lumpy mattress for an entire night can feel like the physical equivalent of getting smacked in the lumbar with a framing hammer—it's the worst, no matter your age.
Join me on Twitter, my fellow hard-bed sleepers.