The Funniest Insults NASCAR Drivers Have Ever Directed at Their Peers
At one time or another we have all been in a situation where in the heat of the moment, we said something insulting about another person.
Sometimes the things said are mean and hurtful, but sometimes, if done properly, they can actually be quite funny.
NASCAR drivers are no different. Over the course of a race, any number of incidents can occur that make a driver feel the need to verbally lash out at a fellow competitor.
Sometimes the resulting quotes give fans a YouTube clip that we want to replay over and over, long after the fact.
In the slides ahead, I am going to take a look at eight instances where a driver has insulted another driver.
Luckily for us, we have these humorous moments on video so we can go back and relive them as much as we want.
Admittedly, these videos are from a relatively recent time in NASCAR history, so if you have another example of a funny insult from one driver to another, please feel free to let us know in the comments section, and maybe we will make a second list in the near future.
Landon Cassill Gives Danica Patrick Some Advice
At a race in Kansas in 2012, Danica Patrick and Landon Cassill had a couple of run-ins with one another.
The first incident saw Cassill get into the side of Patrick's car as he was making a pass on her early in the race. Patrick did not take too kindly to the contact.
Later in the event, Cassill once again got by the No. 10 car. This time, Patrick decided to take matters into her own hands. She intentionally spun Cassill's car.
Cassill was able to save his car without hitting anything. Patrick wasn't so lucky.
In the process of wrecking Cassill, she also spun herself out. It resulted her slamming nose first into the outside wall and ending her day. To make matters worse, this was the car she was scheduled to use at the following week's race.
After the incident, Cassill got on his radio and uttered the great line: "Rule number one of stock car racing is learn how to wreck someone without wrecking yourself."
When asked later about the first incident that resulted in Patrick seeking payback, Cassill added another great line:
"I hit her because she was driving like a maniac for 30th when the race was playing into all our favors," said Cassill.
Jeff Gordon and Jeff Burton Come to Blows
Everyone remembers the incident that took place in Texas in the fall race back in 2010. Under a caution, it appeared as if Jeff Burton intentionally wrecked Jeff Gordon.
The result saw both cars disabled on the track, so Gordon took the opportunity to confront Burton. Without saying a word, Gordon shoved Burton and was ready for more of a fight before officials stepped in.
Prior to the scuffle, each driver gave their accounts of what happened over their team radios.
Burton claimed that Gordon cut up in front of him, and that was the reason for the contact, but it was unintentional.
"That sucker killed it," Gordon told his team after hearing Burton's explanation. "What the hell? He's the one being a dumbass."
Unfortunately, there is no video with this in-car audio, so instead we can just relive the part of the situation that everyone remembers anyway.
Tony Stewart Doesn't Appreciate the Way Joey Logano Races
For a track that is sometimes lacking in action, Auto Club Speedway more than made up for it earlier this season.
The end of the race saw Kyle Busch score the win after Joey Logano and Denny Hamlin were involved in a last-lap accident that resulted in Hamlin injuring his back and missing four races.
Prior to the wild finish, the race's final restart saw Logano hold the lead. As the green flag waved, he shot down the track to block an oncoming Tony Stewart. The result saw Stewart lose all of his momentum and get passed by about half of the field.
Stewart didn't take too kindly to that style of racing. He confronted Logano in the pits and a fight ensued.
"He's run his mouth long enough and done this double standard, but he's nothing but a little rich kid who has never had to work in his life," Stewart later quipped.
Stewart would later add another insult.
"He's a tough guy on pit road as soon as one of his crew guys get in the middle of it. Until then, he's a scared little kid," Stewart said.
Stewart has always been one to tell it the way he sees it.
Kurt Busch Has Words for Jimmy Spencer
Kurt Busch and Jimmy Spencer had a long and storied rivalry in the early 2000s. The two drivers battled each other multiple times at a variety of race tracks, and after each incident, one of them walked away with a damaged race car.
At the 2002 Brickyard 400, it was Spencer who wrecked Busch's car, and not surprisingly, Busch didn't take too kindly too it.
After waiting on the track for Spencer to circle back around, Busch showed his displeasure with a gesture that could be best described using the term "full-moon."
During his interview after leaving the infield care center, Busch delivered a great line, where he insinuated that Spencer was nothing more than a "decrepit, old has-been."
Later in the interview, Busch changed his mind and decided that in Spencer's case, the more proper term would be a "never was."
Either way, it was comedic gold by Busch.
Joey Logano Wonders Who Wears the Firesuit in the Harvick Home
(Logano interview begins at 3:28)
In a 2010 race in Pocono, Joey Logano and Kevin Harvick were battling for position with two laps remaining. The two cars made contact, and the result saw Logano spin, while Harvick got away.
Logano's take on the incident was that it was intentional, while Harvick claimed that it was just two cars racing for the same spot on the race track.
During his post-race interview with TNT, Logano delivered a couple of great lines in Harvick's direction.
"I don't know what his deal is with me," Logano said. "It's probably not his fault. His wife wears the firesuit in the family and tells him what to do, so it's probably not his fault."
He didn't stop there, providing more follow-up later on.
"I don't know what I've ever done to piss him off, but he's apparently stupid."
Boris Said and Greg Biffle Are Apparently Not Friends
Going into the 2011 race in Watkins Glen, there was apparently already some bad blood between Greg Biffle and road-course ringer Boris Said.
The issues only magnified following that day's events.
According to Said, Biffle continued to race him in an aggressive and dirty manner after he (Biffle) had already been lapped multiple times. This didn't set well with Said, who relayed a message to his spotter that he wanted to meet with Biffle after the race.
The two drivers did eventually meet in the garage area, and a brief skirmish broke out.
When tempers calmed a little, Said discussed the situation and delivered a minute's worth of witty insults aimed right at Biffle.
"He's the most unprofessional, little scaredy cat," Said fired off. "He's a chump."
It was short and sweet, but it was effective.
"He comes over and throws a few little baby punches and then when I get out he runs away and hides behind some big guys," Said said in his closing interview.
Who knows, when his driving career is over, Said may have a future as a stand-up comedian.
Clint Bowyer Has Some Choice Words About His Future Boss
During the night race in Bristol back in 2008, Michael Waltrip caused an accident that resulted in some damage to the No. 07 car driven by Clint Bowyer.
After the incident happened, Bowyer proclaimed his thoughts to his team.
"Michael Waltrip is the worst driver in NASCAR, period," Boywer said. "I can't believe NAPA signed back on."
While the quote was funny when it was originally said, it became even funnier when Bowyer signed to drive a car owned by Waltrip beginning in the 2012 season.
During the press conference to announce the new partnership, Waltrip was curious about the famous quote.
"Now Clint, when you said I was the worst driver, did you mean of all-time or just this era?" Waltrip asked Bowyer.
Bowyer could only laugh.
"You never know when you are going to have to eat your words, but Michael promised me he would be the best owner ever," Bowyer said.
Robby Gordon Also Has Choice Words for Michael Waltrip
Then there is the incident between Robby Gordon and Michael Waltrip.
During a race in New Hampshire in 2005, Gordon ended up getting wrecked by Waltrip. As the cars were circling back around the track, Gordon tried to back into Waltrip, who had managed to escape the fracas with no serious damage.
Gordon failed in his attempt to drive into Waltrip's car, but he had a backup plan.
Gordon exited his car and waited for the cars to once again circle the track under the yellow flag. As Waltrip approached, Gordon walked onto the track and threw his helmet at Waltrip's No. 15 car.
But alas, there was still more that Gordon wanted to accomplish.
During his post-incident interview with the TNT pit reporters, Gordon needed just 10 seconds to let the world know what he thought of Waltrip.
"You know Michael, everybody thinks Michael is this good guy," he said. "He's not the good guy like he acts he is. The caution was out and he wrecked me. And he's a piece of s---."
While looking back on it, it is easy to laugh at the situation. But at the time, it was no laughing matter for Gordon. He was fined a total of $35,000 and stripped of 50 points for the entire incident.