Random Proof That Major League Baseball Has Entered Bizarro World

(Photo by Scott Olson/Getty Images)

First, start by taking all of your magazines with MLB predictions and burn them.

Next, grab your television, yank the cord from its socket, and throw it out a second-story window.

If you feel that is too harsh, then simply leave it on the street with a sign that reads “take me.”

While you’re at it, pick up a sledgehammer with the sole purpose of destroying your laptop and/or desktop computer.

Do this because they are all lying to you.

That’s right; ESPN commentators such as Rob Neyer and Peter Gammons will talk heartily and throw stats our way under the guise of being knowledgeable when their real agenda is one of deception.

I already went as far as passing my Sporting News Magazine MLB season preview edition, the one with both David Wright and Alex Rodriguez on the cover, to the man who picks up my recyclables at 5:30 a.m. on Wednesday mornings. (He was a bit surprised to see me standing there in my robe and boxer shorts)

I did this because even though we are only one sixth of the way through the 2009 Major League Baseball season, there have been far too many strange occurrences thus far.

Events such as these lead me to believe that things on the surface aren’t quite as they appear.

The only rational explanation I have for them was something I saw in the sitcom Seinfeld and introduced long ago by comic book icon Superman; MLB has entered Bizarro World.

Only in Bizarro World could the Blue Jays lead baseball’s toughest division, the American League East.

Even though Boston is hot on their tail and seems intent on overtaking them, the Blue Jays have used the red hot bats of Adam Lind, Aaron Hill, Rod Barajas, and a revitalized Scott Rolen to lead the AL in average, runs scored, total bases and slugging percentage.

They are also second in walks.

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