My Official B/R Interview with Randy Moss (HUMOR)

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My Official B/R Interview with Randy Moss (HUMOR)
(Photo by John Sommers II/Getty Images)

Me: Hey Randy! So, how does it feel to be catching balls in practice from Tom again?

Randy Moss: It feels great, man. Having Giselle back and getting to see her again everyday. I'll be out on a deep route, man, and I'll glance over and see her eye'n me up. You can bet your life I won't be droppin that pass, man.

Me: So now with Tom back in the lineup, what are your expectations for 09'?

Randy Moss: Man, Having Tom and Giselle back is definitely a good thing for us. She's making the whole team better. No one wants to look dumb in front of her, you know?

Me: I hear you. I see you're turning 33 this year. How do you stay in such good shape?

Randy Moss: Fear

Me: Fear?

Randy Moss: Fear of getting traded back to Oakland, man. I'll tell you what. Coach B is a hell of a coach. I let the new rookie Darius Butler beat me in a sprinting drill. I looked over and saw Coach digging for something in this old box. He pulled out my old Oakland jersey and just pointed to it. I came in first for the rest of the drills, man.

Me: That's good to hear Randy. Are you still staying out of trouble?

Randy Moss:Well, I'll be honest with you. My kid was having a father-son pee wee football game last week. He wanted me to come out and play. I guess they were raising money to buy new equipment, there was a pretty decent show up.

Man, I scored on the very first play of the game. I ran straight into the endzone and turned around and mooned the crowd. Unfortunately, there was a cop standing right there to slap an indecent exposure fine on my ass.

Me: (Laughing)  I thought you would have learned your lesson, Randy! How's the Randy Moss Motorsports racing team going?

Randy Moss: Very well, thanks for asking. We just won our first first place finish the other week, man.

Me: Wow, you must be a pretty talented coach yourself.

Randy Moss: I like to think so, man. I don't have many tips to tell my drivers. I just tell them to go out there, put the pedal to the metal, and turn left. It's really not as hard as it sounds to be a racing coach.

Me: What do you make of Brett Favre wanting to come back to football?

Randy Moss: Funny you ask that. I was just at his son's birthday party a few nights ago. He was turning 50 so I guess a group of people wanted to throw him a surprise "over the hill" party.

Me: His son just turned 50? So how old would that make Brett?

Randy Moss: Brett doesn't like to talk about his age. But did you hear how his dinner went with Coach Childress last night?

Me: No. Tell me about it.

Randy Moss:The first thing Coach said to Brett when they sat down was, "Mr. Favre, Sir. You have always been my favorite player growing up as a kid." Then he pulled out this football card and said, "Could you please sign this 1937 Brett Favre Rookie card for me?"

Favre let out a hush laugh and a small cloud of dust poofed from his mouth. "Sure kid," Favre replied.

(All of a sudden Randy sat up straight from his slouch, brushed his cornrows to the side, and started talking much more clearly and polite.)

Me: Randy, I noticed you are acting a bit different from earlier in the interview.

Randy Moss: ( Nods his head and gives a wink of his eye)

(Now standing at the front door was Ms. Bunchen and Coach B. And yes, he was pointing at a raiders jersey in his hand.)

Me: Thanks for the interview, Randy. Go win a Superbowl ring this year and make us proud!

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