My Official B/R Interview with Randy Moss (HUMOR)

Brian HutchisonCorrespondent IMay 7, 2009

SPARTA, KY - JULY 19:  Randy Moss, owner of the #81 Rascal Flatts Chevrolet truck addresses the media at press conference before the NASCAR Craftsman Truck Series Built Ford Tough 225 at the Kentucky Speedway on July 19, 2008 in Sparta, Kentucky.  (Photo by John Sommers II/Getty Images)

Me: Hey Randy! So, how does it feel to be catching balls in practice from Tom again?

Randy Moss: It feels great, man. Having Giselle back and getting to see her again everyday. I'll be out on a deep route, man, and I'll glance over and see her eye'n me up. You can bet your life I won't be droppin that pass, man.

Me: So now with Tom back in the lineup, what are your expectations for 09'?

Randy Moss: Man, Having Tom and Giselle back is definitely a good thing for us. She's making the whole team better. No one wants to look dumb in front of her, you know?

Me: I hear you. I see you're turning 33 this year. How do you stay in such good shape?

Randy Moss: Fear

Me: Fear?

Randy Moss: Fear of getting traded back to Oakland, man. I'll tell you what. Coach B is a hell of a coach. I let the new rookie Darius Butler beat me in a sprinting drill. I looked over and saw Coach digging for something in this old box. He pulled out my old Oakland jersey and just pointed to it. I came in first for the rest of the drills, man.

Me: That's good to hear Randy. Are you still staying out of trouble?

Randy Moss:Well, I'll be honest with you. My kid was having a father-son pee wee football game last week. He wanted me to come out and play. I guess they were raising money to buy new equipment, there was a pretty decent show up.

Man, I scored on the very first play of the game. I ran straight into the endzone and turned around and mooned the crowd. Unfortunately, there was a cop standing right there to slap an indecent exposure fine on my ass.

Me: (Laughing)  I thought you would have learned your lesson, Randy! How's the Randy Moss Motorsports racing team going?

Randy Moss: Very well, thanks for asking. We just won our first first place finish the other week, man.

Me: Wow, you must be a pretty talented coach yourself.

Randy Moss: I like to think so, man. I don't have many tips to tell my drivers. I just tell them to go out there, put the pedal to the metal, and turn left. It's really not as hard as it sounds to be a racing coach.

Me: What do you make of Brett Favre wanting to come back to football?

Randy Moss: Funny you ask that. I was just at his son's birthday party a few nights ago. He was turning 50 so I guess a group of people wanted to throw him a surprise "over the hill" party.

Me: His son just turned 50? So how old would that make Brett?

Randy Moss: Brett doesn't like to talk about his age. But did you hear how his dinner went with Coach Childress last night?

Me: No. Tell me about it.

Randy Moss:The first thing Coach said to Brett when they sat down was, "Mr. Favre, Sir. You have always been my favorite player growing up as a kid." Then he pulled out this football card and said, "Could you please sign this 1937 Brett Favre Rookie card for me?"

Favre let out a hush laugh and a small cloud of dust poofed from his mouth. "Sure kid," Favre replied.

(All of a sudden Randy sat up straight from his slouch, brushed his cornrows to the side, and started talking much more clearly and polite.)

Me: Randy, I noticed you are acting a bit different from earlier in the interview.

Randy Moss: ( Nods his head and gives a wink of his eye)

(Now standing at the front door was Ms. Bunchen and Coach B. And yes, he was pointing at a raiders jersey in his hand.)

Me: Thanks for the interview, Randy. Go win a Superbowl ring this year and make us proud!