Twin Perspective: Chronicles of the Fake IPL Player Part II

Rocky GettersSenior Writer IMay 7, 2009

You know, the most engaging and happening things in the IPL are not on the pitch, but rather off it! Be it the mighty fine cheerleaders, the equally damn easy on the eyes owners, hilarious controversies, or the addition of this newest freak to the IPL circus—The fake IPL player.

The “fake IPL player” is a blogger, who claims to be a Kolkatta Knight Rider, and thereby is “in” on the inside stuff. And with absolutely no remorse, he regularly posts all the spicy, juicy, details and secrets from the IPL dressing rooms! And by the looks of it, he’s getting a lot of publicity.

For crying out loud, he is getting more attention than a celebrity’s breast implants!

Come to think of it, he is exactly that. Big, attention-grabbing, controversial, and yet ever so fake!

Do you really think its possible to stay in the Kolkatta Knight Riders camp, surrounded by dozens of players and staff members almost all the time, and post such extravagant articles about the team itself without no one knowing or noticing it?

Besides, he has dropped so many “clues” about himself, that even a fifth grader can nab him. That being said, the way the team has lost so miserably and all strategies have  failed so badly, the fake IPL player himself questions the intelligence of the staff, and we concur.

But still there is no way, someone could sit with a laptop, write and upload a spicy article dozens of time and yet nobody notice it.

So, if it isn’t any player or staff of Kolkatta Knight Riders, who is it?

Its definitely not the cheerleaders. They are far too beautiful to have brains.

Let us analyse together, shall we?

The blogger has definitely posted blogs before. He wants to destroy the reputation of the KKR & hurt Shahrukh Khan along the way. Considering the nickname he uses for Shahrukh Khan, he definitely does not like SRK.

The blogger is a rival of SRK and hates him. Also, this blogger is so “perfect” in his work, that he hasn’t been caught yet. In fact, his perfection can be compared to…Aamir Khan’s level of tedious perfection.

For those who don’t know, Aamir Khan is a great Indian actor known as much for his demand for  perfection as for his dislike of SRK. By the way, you should read Aamir Khan’s blogs, he is a really entertaining writer!

Anyways. Hmm… who could the blogger be, I wonder!

Could it be an inside rival? Maybe a rival IPL owner?

I called up my old buddy Vijay Mallya and asked him his reaction. Sadly he only replied, “IPL?  #@$%$ %#%^ $^#@#!”

Or do you think it is just another random blogger, having nothing to do with KKR, and is just posting this for pure fun and “fake” publicity? Maybe, but I must say, he is quite an entertaining writer, and considering his knowledge of the game, he might well be a sports journalist. Maybe he has written funny articles before on some sports sites!

*a moment of silence*

Errr… its not me, by the way. I mean, seriously not. Absolutely isn’t me. It just couldn’t be. No, no, no. Just… no. Its not me!

Could this be another sham? Another nasty, slime-fest of a publicity stunt to popularize the IPL or more specifically the KKR?

I mean what has the blogger to gain here or what has he achieved? He doesn’t get paid for writing it, he could get caught and get sued for every rotten penny he’s got, and he is only exposing his colleagues and friends. Doesn’t make sense.

But he has also garnered extra attention to the IPL, so its not so hard to imagine that it could be someone who has been given the freedom to cross the limits and keep IPL in the news even the ugly way. And SRK may not even know about all this.

Maybe, maybe not.

Either way, cricket doesn’t need this. It’s a beautiful, graceful, gentleman’s sport, and even a tinge of such dirt-throwing façade makes me uncomfortable. And I think most true cricket lovers will agree with me.

We must learn to respect and understand one thing clearly about this beautiful game: if we truly love it, we must….

What? The fake IPL blogger has posted a new blog? Err…I got to go, bye!

Disclaimer: The above article is purely intended for humorous purposes only. No one is directly or indirectly meant to be offended and hence not even a single word from it should be taken seriously.

PPS : This is a two part series titled "Twin perspective." The first part written by Ms. Nandhini Reddy describes the fake IPL player and his blog on a serious note. This is a rather lighter look at the same, written by her twin in the B/R cricket circle, Rocky Getters. I hope the B/R cricket circle has issues with this.

Err…sorry, I hope the B/R cricket circle has “no” issues with this.