San Antonio Spurs' Biggest Playoff Obstacle Is TV Ratings

The San Antonio Spurs aren't television-ratings darlings for a reason.

It's the same reason that no one would tune in the news if they reported all the planes that took off and landed safely that day, or all the people who didn't get murdered, or all the countries who are at peace.

Who wants to watch life work to perfection?

The answer is precious few of us. But the answer really ought to be anyone who is truly a fan of professional basketball.

USA Today called ratings for the Spurs-Memphis Grizzles series "horrendous" and "putrid." Sports Media Watch reported that ratings for the series-ending Game 4 were down 53 percent over last year, and that the series was the lowest-rated conference finals since 2007, which predictably featured...you guessed it, the Spurs.

Now, granted, the matchup was a four-game sweep. But how is there apathy for a series that features the league's only true dynasty? The Spurs have made the playoffs an astonishing 23 out of the last 24 years. Their last playoff miss was 16 seasons ago.

Beyond their playoff streak, there is also the compelling Dorian Gray storyline, of a team which simply refuses to give in to the immutable ravages of age. Father Time may be undefeated, but he's on the ropes against this San Antonio squad who, not content with their four recent titles, are gunning for a fifth this year, their enduring core of Tim Duncan, Tony Parker and Manu Ginobili intact.

As the likely Finals entrants from the Eastern Conference, the Miami Heat, struggle in their unexpectedly hotly-contested slugfest with the Indiana Pacers, the Spurs, the supposedly past-their-prime senior citizens of the NBA, are resting, recharging and most of all, preparing.

In the fairly stringent salary-cap world that is today's NBA, the Spurs' continued success defies plausibility, and will likely not be duplicated for a long time, perhaps ever.

How are their games not mandatory viewing for every NBA fan?

Because quiet efficiency rarely raises pulses.

We as audiences want drama. That's why the media works so diligently to find storylines. That's why guys with charisma and flair get the lions' share of on-air time and attention.

Duncan is a 14-time All-Star, a two-time MVP, a rebounding champion and a first-ballot Hall of Famer. He is one of the greatest centers the game has ever seen, and this game has seen plenty of them, from George Mikan to Bill Russell, Wilt Chamberlain to Kareem and Ewing and Shaq.

For those contributions, he gets dubbed "quiet" and "boring" by Sports Illustrated. He gets called "Big Fundamental," which sounds more like a whiteboard bullet point in a corporate motivational seminar than a nickname. Heck, he's even a native of the Virgin Islands, which couldn't have a more Duncan-esque name.

Manu Ginobili made the Eurostep a household word. His shots have beaten more buzzers than Ken Jennings. And what high-profile behavior can you attribute to him? Killing a bat on-court, then hauling it away? Speaking three languages fluently? Looking like a dead ringer for Balki on Perfect Strangers?

The Spurs have won only one fewer championship in the last 15 seasons than the Los Angeles Lakers. But the Lakers, rife with dissension, jockeying for face time, posturing, bullying and complaining...they're the ones we watch.

You don't agree? Well, guess when the Spurs' popularity was at its zenith, based on Google searches? Twice: once when star guard Tony Parker wed actress Eva Longoria, the other when the couple divorced.

We call ourselves basketball fans, but what kind of fans are we when the style, not the substance, is what gets our attention?

Maybe it's just emblematic of the human condition vis-a-vis television. After all, the real real housewives are busy cleaning up after their families, shuttling their kids to soccer practice, cooking and washing and comforting. Who would turn in for that, when there are glamor queens in the 90210 zip code pulling hair and calling each other unseemly names?

My family is no different. I can describe what's on The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills because my wife has watched it, and had me watch.

I've been in many a conference-room meeting. They are consistently comprised of businesspeople discussing business calmly and rationally. They are generally devoid of drama or intrigue, and if the boorish behavior that's celebrated on The Apprentice ever occurred, it would surely result in dismissal, if not legal action.

Who would want to watch something so hollowly infused with theatrics?

I have, for many seasons. Judging myself, along with the show and the host, every episode.

Somehow, it's more fun to see the chaos of life rather than the order.

In a Sports Illustrated article on the Spurs' brilliant head coach Gregg Popovich earlier this year, Sacramento Kings assistant Jim Eyen described the Spurs defense thusly: "They take you where they want you to go so they can load up. And once the ball is on the sideline they don't make it easy [for you] to reverse it. You almost never go one-on-one with them. You're going one-on-five."

Translation: If you tune into the NBA for windmill dunks and lobs and awe-inspiring drives through the lane, the Spurs are a buzzkill.

High on efficiency. Low on thrills. Would you watch a movie with that as its logline?

That's the Spur's problem in a nutshell. But it's also their greatest asset.

San Antonio plays as close to perfect basketball as exists. Their spacing is impeccable. Their in-the-moment adjustments to on-court defenses are like watching a pendulum swing back and forth. Their roster seemingly manufactures players like Kawhi Leonard and Danny Green and Tiago Splitter, who in the generally nonemotional Spurs tradition, gut opponents like a fish.

We all really should be watching this team. Because what they lack in sizzle, they make up for in steak. I'm talking filet mignon.

If you're reading this, I know you love basketball. So do your best to rise above whatever unsophisticated desires for the base and glitzy that pull at us all, and watch this team in the Finals.

Think of it like going for a run. You never want to do it, but once you start, you feel really good about yourself.

And if you have a son or daughter, make sure they watch too, to see the heights at which basketball at its highest level can be played, and may never be played again in our lifetimes. You can even promise them this series will be brimming with drama.

Unless, of course, the Indiana Pacers advance.