A Conversation With The Master Himself,Al Davis(Fiction)

Randy LavelleCorrespondent IApril 29, 2009

ALAMEDA, CA - JANUARY 23:  Oakland Raiders owner Al Davis speaks during a news conference introducing new Raiders head coach Lane Kiffin on January 23, 2007 in Alameda, California. Kiffin, a 31 year-old offensive coordinator from the University of Southern California, was named as the new head coach to replace Art Shell who was fired after going 2-14 for the season.  (Photo by Justin Sullivan/Getty Images)

After the Draft and hearing the mumblings and criticisms of Football analysis,experts,and fans i decided to sit down with Mr. Davis for a discussion.I asked him questions about the Draft,fans,and his favorite the media.It went something like this:     

Me:Al,First off it's an honor to meet a Legend in his own mind,er....Legend of his own kind.     

 Al:HUH?What was the last part?    

 ME:Sir,nice to meet you!    

AL:Nice to meet you,now what do you want to ask me?    

ME:Well Sir,Do you think you did very well in this years draft?    

 AL:Why hell yeah!Cable got my QB's some future weapons that are FAST       

ME:Is speed your best quality you like in a player?    

AL:OOHH YEAHH!They have to be fast!    

ME:Why is that Al?    

AL:Because the game is fast,Don't you watch it?    

ME:Of Course i do Al,i have been following your team since i was a boy.    

AL:You have?Well then you liked some great players since then.I bet you liked "The Snake"?    

ME:Yes Sir,I do as a matter of fact,how did you know?    

AL:Well you have a little gray hair and old Raiders fans always loved the vertical passing game.    

ME:Well Mr. Davis you are right,but i think the vertical passing game has passed us by don't you think?    

AL:Are you crazy?Look at The Cardinals,do you think it passed them by?    

ME:Well Mr. Davis you have a point there.    

AL:The Cards got all kinds of receiving yards against good teams last year with there QB Kurt Warner.    

ME:Do you think JaMarcus will be better this year?         

AL:He better,i am paying him a lot of money!We have a great QBs coach in Hackett and he's going to mold him into a damn good QB,but if he doesn't or gets hurt,we have a backup plan in Garcia.    

ME:Didn't try and get Garcia once before?    

AL:Yes,i did and he went to Jon's team,but now we got him.Good kid and hard worker.That's what we want out of JaMarcus,to work hard,win games since I'm paying all this money.   

ME:Do you think Darrius will be a starter this year?    

AL:I told Cable to get me speed and he did.He picked this kid because he has knowledge of the pro offense.He should.    

ME:Are you happy with what the media has been saying about your picks?    

AL:Media Who?     

ME:For instance what ESPN has been saying,that your picks could have been had in later rounds?    

AL:They don't know SQUAT!Since when did any of those people run a Franchise?How many of them make the picks?We see the talent the way we've always seen it.SPEED,TOUGHNESS,SMARTS.     

ME:So True Mr. Davis, so true.    

AL:They always give my team a bad grade,but i don't care.I don't care what they say either.They just guess most of the time.     

ME:Do you think you will regret not drafting Micheal Crabtree?    

AL:NAW!He is like all the other crybaby receivers in the league and probably  would have held out,asked to be traded.I had enough of that when Moss was here.I think this new kid might put a hurtin on him  in preseason anyway.     

ME:Speaking of,Do you like the #2 pick in Mitchell?    

AL:I LOVE IT!Remember Jack?He reminds me of Jack Tatum and he's gonna hurt ya!    

ME:Yes,I saw the UTUBE Highlight reel and i have to say there's a good chance.    

AL:UTUBE?What's that?     

ME:Never mind Mr. Davis,The kids looks like a hitter.    


ME:Mr. Davis How well do you think you will do this year?    

AL:Well,i know we are not going to the SB,but i think we will get much better.It will take at least 2 years to get there.That Lance fella knew he couldn't handle it,so he lied about everything and screwed everything up,but Tom is gonna get us back to winning.    

ME:What do you say to all the loyal fans out there(like me) who have been following the Raiders and want to win?    

AL:Well we ARE gonna get back to winning.Remember "ONCE A RAIDER,ALWAYS A RAIDER"


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