Your Guide to the Funniest Farts in Sports

Nick Dimengo@@itsnickdimengoFeatured ColumnistMay 14, 2013

Your Guide to the Funniest Farts in Sports

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    One thing that remains constant to us as we continue to "mature" in life is that bathroom humor will never get old.

    It's true that everyone poops, but the sheer thought or sound of someone passing gas will always draw a chuckle from us.

    As our girlfriend once famously told us, "Let's just a call a spade a spade. Farts are funny." We're giving you the most hilarious farts captured in sports.

Honorable Mention: DeAndre Jordan Fakes It

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    Clippers center DeAndre Jordan has been known for a variety of things throughout his short career thus far.

    A player who personifies the word "air" thanks to the amount he gets on his monster jams coupled with his absolutely miserable free-throw shooting, Jordan's quite the character.

    As we see from this little prank though, the only air he's pushing is the fake kind with a fart machine, which is absolutely hilarious.

Yoga Pants > Yoga Farts

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    If you're a dude, there's no denying how much you probably love girls in yoga pants.

    The stretchy workout pants of choice for ladies everywhere really accent the greatest features of a woman, helping to distract you from your workout.

    Want to know what else can be distracting?

    A lady in yoga pants who farts.

    Yeah, that's a bit off-putting.

Lomas May Have 'Browned' His Drawers

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    Lomas Brown is a former NFL offensive lineman who has probably had his fair share of stomach-filling meals.

    So when he lets one slip here on ESPN's First Take, it couldn't have happened to a more appropriate guy.

    You have to listen closely, but you can tell by host Jay Crawford's reaction that the guys are just trying to cover it up.

News Anchor Rips One

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    There have been plenty of instances where a news anchor has had the daunting challenge of keeping their composure following something funny happening in the studio.

    This is one of those instances.

    Unfortunately for this poor guy, he has quite the difficulty holding in his laughter after hearing an enormous fart happen on set.

    Can't say we don't blame him...that thing sounded nasty.

Kyran Bracken Releases the Kraken

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    Though farting is almost always hilarious, it gets a little more real when someone lets one rip either in someone else's face, or while sitting on them.

    OK, so we've all done it before—whether to our younger siblings or a passed out buddy—but doing it to your figure skating partner, as Kyran Bracken does, is an absolute no-no.

Squat and Sniff

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    If this guy doesn't hurt himself from squatting more weight than his body can handle, maybe he'll give himself a hemorrhoid by pushing out a loud fart?

    Luckily, for embarrassment purposes, this was just on a home video that few people saw (until now). We couldn't imagine what would happen if it came during an actual competition.

    Maybe it's time to lay off the protein?

There's a Duck in the Locker Room

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    While covering the Heat, one journalist pushes out some heat during a postgame interview with Dwyane Wade.

    Give Wade credit for his tongue-in-cheek attitude considering a fart is about the last thing a player thinks is coming during a Q&A.

    Considering the weird noise of the flatulent, it seemed the culprit did everything possible to avoid letting it sneak out, but it was to no avail.

Did You Fart?

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    This entire video is a little weird to us.

    Not only does the reporter stumble over his words while questioning the Bulls' Joakim Noah—making him look like a complete amateur—but when the outspoken Noah straight up asks if he farted upon smelling something raunchy, it makes things even more uncomfortable.

    Who knows who's to blame for it, but our money's on Noah seeing that he noticed the stench first.

Rafael Van Der Vaart Stinks It Up

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    Rafael van der Vaart is one of the top players on Netherlands' national team, helping them reach the World Cup Final in 2010 (only to lose to Spain).

    So it was only fitting that he played the role of distributor to other guys who were sitting on the bench during a match against Romania a couple years back.

    Wonder if it was his farting habits that really caused the split between he and ex-wife Sylvie earlier this year?

Sam Madison Gets 'Ripped' off

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    During his playing days, former NFL cornerback Sam Madison was known for his brash style, helping shutdown opposing receivers with a variety of physical plays.

    Unfortunately for him though, his intimidation didn't work so well during a postgame interview following a game in the locker room.

    He immediately loses his train of thought to look for anything to stick in his face in order to neutralize the smell, which seemed to be pretty potent.

Someone Dropped the 8-Ball

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    There are so many things that go wrong in this clip.

    First, the female announcer displays here best artistic ability by drawing a certain part of the male anatomy with the teleprompter.

    Hoping no one saw that little gaffe—sorry, we all did—someone lets loose a fart that the entire crowd hears.

    Outdoing her drawing, she promptly asks, "What was that?" responding to her own question with a swift, "It wasn't me."

    We hope not, otherwise it'd be the greatest minute in sports commentating history.

Santonio Holmes, "It Wasn't Me"

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    You know the saying, "Whoever smelt it, dealt it?"

    Well, that's what former Steelers receiver Santonio Holmes stands by when the pungent smell on the bench was sniffed by Hines Ward.

    Holmes tries to state his claim that it definitely wasn't him by flashing the most unconvincing "uh-uh" face on the planet before looking to his right for someone else to blame.

The Referee Gets Caught with a False Fart

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    Although the fart sound was obviously added in, there is no denying the fact that this field judge fumbled out a fart during a game a couple years back.

    Anyone who has blasted one in public should know to never do anything to draw attention to yourself.

    Poor guy learned the hard way, as he could have gotten away with it unnoticed if not for the fanning motion.

    Let this be a lesson.

Breaking Par or Breaking Wind?

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    With hundreds of people standing around the tee box, there's no telling who the actual gas passer was—though we like the call by the commentator downplaying it by saying, "A little spectator noise."

    But with Tiger Woods doing everything possible not to disrupt the shot of a fellow golfer until after his shot, it was obviously something that caught the world's No. 1's attention.

    Looks like the wind was blowing out that day on the course.

LeBron's the 'King' of Farts

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    After earning his fourth league MVP last week, it became obvious that LeBron James has the most talent in the world on the basketball court.

    James has proven to have some unknown talents as well, which we saw a sneak peek of during his stealth fart on former teammate Anderson Varejao.

    LeBron disguises it perfectly, letting it loose and maintaining his composure until Varejao's reaction is too much to handle.

Monster Fart During Snooker Championship

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    As we've seen in a number of these clips, letting one rip in the middle of a sporting event can be stinky business.

    So when someone sliced the cheese during the Snooker World Championship last week, someone had some "splainin" to do.

    Not so shockingly, no one came to admit the disruption, meaning we've got an unknown suspect running around with a loaded gas gun as a weapon.

    Based on this scene, consider him or her to be armed and dangerously smelly.