Newton's third law—for every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction—does NOT apply to the athletes in this slide show.
The disqualifying word? Equal
These active players are the perpetual hyper-reactors. The melodramatists. The hams. The racket smashers, the tantrum throwers, the utters of rants with more four-letter words than an entire Mario Puzo novel.
Click on to hear their never-ending roars.
As a Tampa Bay Ray, Soriano allegedly got in a huff over such things as "being brought into games in non-save situations, or being asked to pitch more than one inning."
Rob Bonanni of "New York Pudding" ranted that Soriano was an "overpaid complainer" and an "awful investment" for the Yankees.
No data yet on how far complaining will get you in D.C.
Hey, a commentator insults your talent, you get fired up. Fair enough. When that commentator is Skip Bayless, you can lose your cool a little and still not get penalized for stepping across the overreaction boundary.
But Sherman's verbal blitzkrieg places him deep, deep in the heartland of the nation of Grand Theatrics.
And this is his typical modus operandi: question his talent and suddenly you yourself are the most talent-starved nobody to walk the Earth.
The infamous helmet slam is just one tantrum in a string. String? No, let's go with thick bungee cord—one that could wrap around an entire stadium. Twice.
A personal favorite: The alleged knee slam to the groin. The recipient? A trainer who came out to check on A.J. after he was clipped by a ball in the dirt.
A little flashback to high school poetry class?
Tiger! Tiger! smashing clubs
After making silly flubs,
Flinging an iron in some tourney
Could put your caddie on a gurney
In what recesses of thine mind
Is this sportsmanlike or kind?
Is not golf a gentleman's game?
And why throw clubs when you're to blame?
Busch's super-sized reactions date back to the start of his career. In a 2007 article about a Busch tantrum for which he was fined $50,000, The Elizabethton Star described Busch as "the temperamental 2005 Raybestos Rookie of the Year."
Watch this video—an instant classic if there ever was one—to see Patrick express her displeasure with Hornish for squeezing her on the final lap of a Talladega race. Does she flip him the bird? Shake a fist? Nah. Instead, the high duchess of histrionics RAMS HIM INTO THE WALL.
Jonesin' for more Patrick outbursts?
Try this one.
Or this one.
Or this one.
Or this one (NSFW).
Or this one.
Getting tired of scrolling?
Jump to 1:07 on this video for a classic souped-up Stewart reaction. If we were to make a greatest hits compilation, here are some other must-includes:
The Joey Logano brawl, March 2013
The Bristol Motor Speedway helmet chuck, August 2012
Oh, and we must have the O'Reilly Raceway Park tantrum, July 2008
This YouTube video wins two major awards:
1. Best ironic music
2. Best viewer comment ever (posted by "rlarios02"):
But this hydrating conniption fit is hardly an isolated incident. Ibra allegedly is constantly scuffling with and insulting coaches and fellow players.
Love him or hate him, we all have to giggle at his spastic WTF gestures when he feels a ref did him wrong.
Everything that Mayweather says and does is on a Richter scale that begins at 8.9 and ends at 9.9 (yeah, the cataclysmic range).
Whether it's passing through a security gate (see video), entering the ring, giving a post-fight interview, dissing an opponent, or doing time, Mayweather does it with a whine, or a cascade of tears, or a threat.
He is the original boxing diva.
Just google "Wayne Rooney temper tantrums" then sit back on the sofa with your laptop propped up on your belly and enjoy a month's worth of videos and articles.
You know how the token fat guy in every fraternity house is always called "Tiny"?
Well same sense of irony apparently applies to Serena, which means "composed; peaceful; cheerful."
Joey Barton, we hereby crown you King of Overreaction-dom. Here is the evidence that justifies your royalty:
Exhibit A: Stubbing a lit cigar in the eye of a young teammate during Manchester City's 2004 Christmas party
Exhibit B: Calling folks "maggots"—isn't that reserved for sadistic drill sergeants?
Exhibit C: Receiving an unprecedented 12-match ban for violent behavior
Exhibit D: Insulting ex-Liverpool player Didi Hamann's "family issues and crossing all sorts of legal lines with public allegations of drug abuse" via Twitter
Exhibit E: Allegedly beaning your teammate in the head with a bottle as he gave an interview
Folks, pretty sure I could take you through the whole alphabet at least twice.