Thanks Madden 10: Now Steelers Have To Draft A Safety
Well it's official. The Steelers are going to have to trade up in the draft to get Malcolm Jenkins.
It's all thanks to John Madden and the announcement today that Troy Polamalu and Larry Fitzgerald are going to don the cover the next incarnation of the billion dollar video game.
Apparently, coach Madden still hasn't gotten over the Immaculate Reception with his latest selection of cover boys. Did someone say conspiracy?
Oh, I think so. Think about it. It's obvious.
Madden "retired" from announcing to free himself to take over the full-time operation of the Oakland Raiders. He had to retire early enough for Al Davis' tailor to find the fabric necessary for his custom made jumpsuits. You can't buy a 63 extra wide right off the rack you know.
Let's not pretend that this hasn't been going on for years. Emperor Chaz referred to Mr. Davis', "organization as the criminal element." Well if by criminal he meant organized crime, he was right on point.
Madden has been an executioner for years with this little "video game" of his. Come on. You have to see the forest through these trees.
Logic says that, like Michael Corleone, John has been on the Davis dole for years. Righting all of the wrongs done to the "godfather."
First up, Troy Polamalu and the Steelers. Best way to take him out?
The Madden Cover jinx. Who else on the Steelers would be worthy of the cover? Ben.
But if history tells us anything, Ben will probably take up Alligator Wrestling this offseason and knock himself out for the season. So, no worries there.
James Harrison? Look, Madden is a bitter old Raider, but he isn't stupid. Silverback would hunt him down and he knows it.
Next up, Larry Fitzgerald. The only time in the history of the Raiders organization that Al Davis was talked out of drafting speed, they drafted back-up guard Fabio Gallery second overall. One spot ahead of...wait for it...Larry Fitzgerald.
Coincidence? I think not!
This isn't the first time that Madden has done Davis' bidding. Let's take a look at a few of the other Madden Covers:
Shaun Alexander drafted 19th overall in 2000; Raiders selected Sebastian Roofie-kowski 17th overall. By the way Janikowski is a kicker!
Vince Young? This one was actually done as a favor to former Raider Kerry Collins.
It's a little convoluted, but rumor has it the Kerry Collins actually has pictures of—I shouldn't spread rumors. Let's just say Al Davis really, really likes Alpaca.
Mike Vick, Duante Culpepper, Donovan McNabb? Dog Lover, Boat Enthusiast and T.O. fan.
Does he? Does he, really?
Well tell me this. Is it coincidental that Todd Marijuana-vich from USC was drafted in the first round by the Raiders, just nine picks ahead of...Brett Favre.
I don't have any insider information, but a young fair haired coach was seen entering the EA Sports headquarters in Vancouver, British Colombia for a Photo Shoot.
Lane Kiffin will be on the cover of Madden 11. Take it to the bank.
The truth is out there...
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