Just when Animal Planet thought they had the adorable market cornered for Super Bowl Sunday, the Hallmark Channel comes along with the confidence and swagger of a network about to change the game with the Kitten Bowl.
The Hollywood Reporter (h/t Uproxx) reports there will now be two channels for those of you out there who own five cats and five dogs and dress them in mini sweaters while talking to them like adults.
The network announced Friday that it will hold the first Kitten Bowl on Super Bowl Sunday in 2014. Beginning 9 a.m. PT/12 p.m. ET on Feb. 2, 2014, Hallmark Channel's three-hour Kitten Bowl -- presented in conjunction with the American Humane Association -- will feature adoptable kittens in competition.
Somewhere along the line, someone decided to make sure the juvenile-animal loving demographic was covered while the rest of us were enjoying the Super Bowl.
Just in case that puppy running around your house wasn't doing it for you, Animal Planet brought wall-to-wall coverage of puppies roughhousing with one another. Really, the only thing more adorable would be four hours of Snuggles and the Pillsbury Doughboy getting into a tickle fight.
For those of you who would like to pretend they have never seen a Puppy Bowl, here is a brief glimpse. Warning: You might begin hugging your computer screen uncontrollably.
As it seems, the Kitten Bowl will be more of the same.
The network's original movie talent will become the judges, referees and sideline trainers. Viewers will also be able to vote for the "MVK," or the most valuable kitten.
The Kitten Bowl, an agility competition, will include an obstacle course of hurdles of varying heights, A-frame Alpine scratchers, tunnels, hoop jumps and weave poles.
"But they already have kittens on the Puppy Bowl during the Kitty Halftime Show," says all of you who act like they have never seen a Puppy Bowl but totally have.
Well, you are correct.
Really, the only difference between this and the Puppy Bowl is that we get far more kittens than puppies and "original movie talent," whatever that means. We could be looking at a few hours of Richard Gere or Barry Watson.
That's just a gamble I am not ready to make.
Now comes the real question nobody out there is brave enough to ask: Who is going to even watch the Super Bowl now? With this much cute programing, the big game we once loved may die a quick death.
Lifetime Network, the ball is now in your court.
Hit me up on Twitter for more sports stories of import.