Philadelphia Eagles 2009 Schedule Released: Results in a Hangover

Walt HaleyContributor IApril 15, 2009

It is amazing how people’s perspective changes as they get older.

I remember when I first got season tickets with the boys, everything revolved around tailgating. It still does, but my outlook on it has changed.

In the mid-1990s, for the 1:00 pm games we would get together for a 6:00 am tailgate which started before we left for Veterans Stadium. We usually arrived there around 8:00 am.

By the time we arrived, I was already crossed-eyed from the six beers I drank and the fact that I got three hours of sleep from going out and getting hammered on Saturday night. I miss having that capability.

I miss being able to drink on a random Wednesday night until 4:00 in the morning and still being able to function at work on Thursday. Then hitting up a Thursday happy hour after you received your fourth wind of the day. Those were the days.

When the NFL schedule came out in the mid '90s and the Eagles had a home Monday night game, it was like Christmas. We would get down to the stadium around noon and have about eight hours of straight drinking. It was awesome—tons of good times, tons of laughs, and tons of blackouts.

I think for about six straight years not one person in our tailgate brought any food, but every person bought a 30-pack of Miller Lite. We had about 15 cases of beer, two bags of ice, and a pack of Starburst that somebody left in the car. Those were the days.

Now that I am older (though not much wiser), I actually dread the Monday night home game. I know my brain won’t be functioning properly for the next four days. I will go into work the following Tuesday with toothpaste encrusted on the corners of my mouth and my hair sticking straight up and I will be able to get the person next to me drunk just by breathing on him.

I will go out at lunch, fall asleep in my car, buy six packs of breath mints and eat them in 2.8 seconds, drink four gallons of water, and drool all over my keyboard. I won’t do one ounce of work and I will be praying that the day will end. Then I will look up at the clock and it will only be 2:30 in the afternoon. Please, somebody kill me now!

I actually love 1:00 pm home games. You still get to experience the tailgate and drink your ass off and you still get home at a decent hour and get a good night's rest. After the 1:00 tailgate my brain doesn’t function for about two days, so I've got that going for me. I have to stop doing whip-it’s…

There is one other thing that drives me crazy about the Eagles schedule: When the Eagles have back to back weekend home games. It is exhausting. I know I won’t function properly for a month.

Guess what? The Eagles have three back to back weekend home dates this year.

I may as well cancel all of my appointments for the entire month of November and the beginning of December. Not that I have any appointments.

On Dec. 20 they play San Francisco and on Dec. 27 they play the Denver Broncos in the return of Brian Dawkins. (Both games are at 1:00, so that's another gift from God.) 

The also play Tampa Bay and Washington at home at 1:00 on Oct. 11 and Nov. 29, respectively.

There you have it, a ton of 1:00 games on the home slate. Awesome!

Now I just have to figure out which two games the Waltdog is going to skip. I usually miss at least two from going out boozing on Saturday nights. Heck, I missed the Dallas game last year! You know the game: the one where they smoked Dallas and clinched a playoff berth.

My friends are never going to let that one go. I think I may skip the first two games, just so I don’t have to hear about it. Maybe they’ll forget by the third game.

They do have two Sunday night games and a Monday night game away and I will be watching those from the comfort of my couch. I will be getting fatter by the minute!

Their schedule doesn’t look too daunting. Man, I hope they make the freaking playoffs again! I hate the rest of the teams in the NFL.