2012 MLS Cup: 5 Hilarious Ways to Sell Soccer in the United States of America

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2012 MLS Cup: 5 Hilarious Ways to Sell Soccer in the United States of America
Shaun Botterill/Getty Images

After finishing a trade show in Las Vegas, I booked myself to stay in Sin City through the weekend of November 3rd to watch both Oregon-USC and Alabama-LSU. Seeing as how those games weren't until late Saturday night, I decided to sit down and place a bet on the MLS Cup action that Friday night. 

Seattle was playing Real Salt Lake, and after placing a bet I truly tried to sit down and watch a non-World Cup soccer match from start to finish. This experience mirrored listening to Ben Stein give a two-hour powerpoint presentation on the history of banking. 

The game finished in a 0-0 tie, meaning I have absolutely no idea what to report on the game's "action." 

I tried, America, I really did. Instead of complaining about how strange I felt the experience was, I decided to take the high road and serve my country as best I can. Here are five hilarious ways to better sell the game of soccer in America...enjoy.  

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