5 Reason Why LeBron James' “King of the Rings” Comic Is Absurd

Trent Stutzman@@trentstutzmanContributor IIIOctober 26, 2012

5 Reason Why LeBron James' “King of the Rings” Comic Is Absurd

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    If you subscribe to ESPN the Magazine, I’m sure you’ve already read LeBron James’ new comic book in creation with Marvel, “LeBron: King of the Rings”.

    The cute little comic chronicles the life of LeBron, starting from when he guaranteed all his championships during the Miami Heat’s welcome party for the Big Three up through the 2029-2030 season, all the while seeking to deliver his eight championships to Miami.

    Since it is indeed a comic, there are of course many ridiculous narratives, like when Pat Riley makes many clones of LeBron.

    But there are more realistic aspects in there that don’t really make much sense.

    Here are the five most absurd such parts.

He Always Faces the Thunder

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    In every single NBA Finals LeBron wins in the comic, his team faces the Oklahoma City Thunder. If you’re going to have him face any team year after year, the Thunder would be the right choice, given their youth and incredible talent.

    But there are so many variables that go into reaching an NBA Finals, like injuries, team chemistry and payroll. With Kevin Durant, Russell Westbrook and Serge Ibaka all signed to big deals, it’ll be very difficult to wrap up James Harden to a long-term deal.

    Oklahoma City will be one of the best teams this coming decade, but I doubt they will make the Finals every single year.

Chris Bosh and Dwyane Wade Leave

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    Towards the beginning of the comic, Chris Bosh and Dwyane Wade both leave Miami in the summer of 2016 because of “increasingly onerous luxury-tax penalties”. The comic makes a mistake here. Wade’s, Bosh’s and LeBron’s contracts are all set to expire in the summer of 2016.

    As of now, Norris Cole is the only other Heat player signed through 2016, and no one’s contract runs into 2017.

    So really, Miami has a ton of financial flexibility in that offseason. Riley could resign the Big Three at a lower price than in 2010, since they’ll be older and have somewhat diminished skills.

Return to Cleveland

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    In the 2028 offseason, LeBron decides to hold another press conference to announce he is returning to the Cleveland Cavaliers to “achieve closure” with the fans that hate him.

    LeBron has toyed with this decision before, but I don’t think this would ever happen, even if he wanted to.

    Dan Gilbert absolutely hates LeBron. Remember that letter he wrote to all of Cleveland? I can’t ever see him allowing his GM to bring LeBron back, even if the Cavs had endured 18 straight losing seasons.

Age of Cleveland Team

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    When he does return to the Cavaliers, he brings with him Wade, Bosh, Durant, Steve Nash, Kobe Bryant and Dennis Rodman to create a “Big Seven” of oldies.

    They all are either bald or have gray or white hair and are portrayed as being super old in other ways, like holding canes and walkers.

    But remember, the year is only 2029. The ages of those listed above would respectively be 47, 45, 40, 55, 50 and 68.

    Those certainly aren’t ideal NBA ages, but besides Rodman, they wouldn’t be nearly as old as the comic is portraying them to be. It’s not like it’s 2050.

No Conclusion

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    In the very end of the comic, when LeBron is attempting to secure his eighth and final title, he finds himself in a pressure situation.

    With five seconds left in Game 7 of the Finals, he is triple-teamed with a teammate wide open under the basket. As LeBron is contemplating whether to pass or shoot, the comic ends!

    Instead of giving its own conclusion, the story tells readers to go to espn.com to vote on the outcome.

    How lame.

    I understand in today’s world, media organizations are all about getting their readers involved, but this is an unique story.

    Marvel/ESPN came up with its own plot all the way up to this point, so why not just finish off the job?

    Make a decision, my friends.