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National Football League: Comparing Each Franchise to a TV Show

Gianni VerschuerenFeatured ColumnistOctober 22, 2012

National Football League: Comparing Each Franchise to a TV Show

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    We all love football. That's why we are currently sitting behind our computer, talking or reading about this fantastic game.

    We all like television. At least, I like TV. A lot.

    We all like to laugh. Except for Roger Goodell. And Tom Coughlin. He scares the hell out of me.

    That's what this article is all about. Not scaring people. Laughing. TV. Football.

    Enjoy.

Miami Dolphins: Entourage

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    There's so many celebrities involved with the Miami Dolphins, I've lost count. Hate Entourage all you want, they know how to get celebrities on their show.

New England Patriots: Glee

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    Everybody hates you, New England. Stop being so freakin' successful.

New York Jets: Jersey Shore

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    Drama. Fights. Lots of ego's. And generally, a lot of hate. Yet, people still watch it.

Buffalo Bills: Firefly

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    This show had everything it needed to be successful. And, yet, somehow, it wasn't.

    Shame.

Cincinnati Bengals: Prison Break

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    Oh, come on. This joke had to be made.

    Besides, they're doing a nice job of cleaning up their reputation down in Cincy. Hence, the Break.

Pittsburgh Steelers: Doctor Who

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    The Steelers have been around for a long time, and for some reason they've always been kinda successful.

    And when James Harrison looks at a quarterback, you can see him think "EXTERMINATE."

Baltimore Ravens: House M.D.

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    The concept is always the same: whether it's run the ball and kill 'em with our defense or diagnose a patient, mess up four or five times and then he comes up with a brilliant solution. Successful nonetheless.

Cleveland Browns: Spongebob Squarepants

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    The Browns have been bad for so long, it's just funny. Like Spongebob.

    Take comfort in knowing everybody is rooting for you, Browns' fans.

San Diego Chargers: An Idiot Abroad

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    Ah, Norv Turner. Watching you fail over and over and over, it just never gets old.

    Seriously, how this guy is still your head coach is beyond me.

Denver Broncos: Dexter

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    Watching Peyton Manning reminds me a lot of watching Dexter: The way he prepares, the way he executes, he's like a surgeon out there. Just brilliant.

Kansas City Chiefs: Grey's Anatomy

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    Injuries, injuries. The Chiefs just can't catch a break.

Oakland Raiders: Gilligan's Island

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    No, seriously though: This is the year the Raiders finally get into the playoffs. Just like this time Gilligan won't screw things up again.

Houston Texans: Breaking Bad

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    It's a breath of fresh air, it's new and funky, and overall, it's just excellent. And everyone wants to be on the bandwagon.

Jacksonville Jaguars: The Cape

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    How are the Jaguars like The Cape? It's simple really: no one is watching.

Indianapolis Colts: The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air

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    There's a new kid in town, and y'all better know it.

Tennessee Titans: Everybody Hates Chris

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    I mean, what has CJ2K ever done to you? Oh, right, that fantasy thing.

Detroit Lions: The Transformers

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    They have 'Megatron.'

    What did you expect?

Chicago Bears: Boy Meets World

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    The manliest show for the manliest team.

    No really, just like the Bears, Boy Meets World was always on TV. Always. It never left, it was always there.

    And secretly, even though you'd never admit it, you kinda liked it, much like the type of football the Bears pride themselves on.

Minnesota Vikings: Community

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    An awesome show with some of the best fans in the world, it just never seems to catch a lucky break, much like the Vikings.

Green Bay Packers: Seinfeld

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    The model TV show for the model franchise, Seinfeld was voted as best TV show ever created. But that was before LOST started messing with our heads.

New York Giants: The Sopranos

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    It's set in Jersey, and Coughlin always reminds me of Tony Soprano. Who also happens to scare the hell out of me.

Philadelphia Eagles: Elementary

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    Elementary is really just a cheap version of BBC's fantastic Sherlock.

    Dream Team? You mean, like the one down in Miami? Yeah, I didn't think so.

Dallas Cowboys: American Idol

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    This show still thinks it's 'America's Show.' Yuck.

    Tony Romo and Dez Bryant would make some healthy contributions to the drama. If only Terrell Owens was still around for the waterworks.

Washington Redskins: MacGyver

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    No one can ever come close to the awesome that is MacGyver, but RGIII isn't doing too bad. MacGyver can turn a paperclip and some gum into a weapon of mass-destruction, and Griffin can turn a fumble into a 15-yard gain.

Seattle Seahawks: Better Off Ted

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    Better Off Ted was an amazing show that really had everything. And yet, nobody seemed to notice. Bad for a TV show, good for an NFL franchise.

San Fransisco 49ers: Band of Brothers

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    War dramas are a tried and tested formula that work really well, providing they are solid enough to stand out from the rest. Band of Brothers did just that.

    Run the ball and stop the other team from scoring. Tried and tested.

Arizona Cardinals: Seconds From Disaster

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    With that offensive line, the Cardinals are literally "Seconds From disaster" on every given play.

St. Louis Rams: Every Single Sitcom About Moving to the Big City

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    I mean, didn't we try this already?

    It's not like there's enough shows about some country girl going Hollywood.

New Orleans Saints: Californication

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    Controversy, a little dip, it doesn't matter: Californication is here to stay. There's enough quality in the show to make up for the bad rep.

Atlanta Falcons: How I Met Your Mother

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    Promises, waiting, a little teaser, more waiting...Seriously, fans are sick of waiting. Stop fooling around and show us the Mother/Lombardi already!

Carolina Panthers: Criminal Minds

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    Two great seasons in the bag, and then it went downhill. The foundation is there, you just need to get back to what you were good at.

    Cam, I'm looking at you.

Tampa Bay Buccaneers: Saved by the Bell

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    A bunch of young kids trying to deal with the struggles of life, and a veteran presence helping along the way. That kinda sums up what the Buccaneers are going through right now. Let's just hope they figure it out before it's too late.

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