March 8, 2009
WWE.COM Highlight Reel
"Break the walls down!"
Jericho music plays as he comes out to the broadcasting area with the utmost confidence, poise, and smile. He takes out some wine and orders Lance Cade to open it and prepare glasses from him and the later guests.
"Welcome one and all.......... to the Highlight Reel. I have a great show in store for all my loyal followers tonight and let me say it will be groundbreaking. My show has gotten so much viewship that WWE is letting me run with the ball".
"What?!" Some crew men were confused backstage.
"SHUT UP?!" Jericho shows an early mean streak.
"For those incompetent fools out there, I OWN THE HIGHLIGHT REEL. I control everything even the paychecks of my idiotic stage crew, who better get to work before they get dismissed...permanently.
"With that said, the barriers are broke, and the walls be broken tonight."
"I can just picture all of the women drooling for this piece of magnificent work. I have body better than Greek gods. Husbands, don't get angry, I'm practically irresistible. If any of you saw RAW, then you witnessed justice.
"For those who didn't, I have my Jeritron 5000! Bring it out boys! Jericho takes a seat on the couch while the Jeritron is starting up and begins to sip some wine."
Greg Bush's RAW was Re winded and can be viewed here.
-APA is shown dismantling Miz and Morrison, Mike Knox and Ryan Braddock continue their feud with the third match between the two. The World title picture gets real crowded as Orton vs HBK make room for Christian and Jericho in a bizarre turn of events.
"Did Stephanie, the McMahon's, Orton, and Christian think they can get away what they did to me? That was my master plan all along. I deceived you HBK, I deceived Orton, I deceived Christian, I deceived you people".
Jericho loosens his tie.
"At Wrestlemania, no one will stop me".
The replay of the Codebreaker on Christian is constantly shown in the background.
"Aah good times." Jericho continues to sip wine.
"There seems to be a bit of confusion around here. Assumptions that me and HBK are on good terms now. Let me confirm that it was business. It was that simple, business. Speaking of business, You can meet the man who assisted me and buying my own show from WWE."
The Jeritron 5000 goes to the parking lot and JBL's limousine is shown.
"GET HIM!" Jericho yells at Cade to assist JBL on set.
The two come on set and JBL and Jericho sit together.
"The thing about me and JBL is they we have common ideas and goals. We both are successful inside and outside of the ring. He has Wall Street, I have Fozzy, my band. We both were tag team champs, IC champs, and WWE champs. I was an the first undisputed champion though."
JBL doesn't look to be so fond of Jericho on upping him in the comparison, but he proceeds to speak.
"Layfield Energy, part of JBL Enterprises are proud to announce that they share holders in the new and improved Highlight Reel. Thanks to me genius strategy, I was able to save..."
"Stop right there, I saved this show and nobody else. I'm not HBK, You are MERELY a partner, you do not own my show, nor my name."
"MORE WINE?!" Cade feels the aggravation between the two and steps in to prevent a chance of escalation.
Tension between the business partners is rising, but the two calm down and return to talking.
"A lot of people are wondering what JBL is up to since he isn't in the world title picture. Let me assure the skeptical that I will be at Wrestlemania 25."
"I AM A WRESTLING GODDDD!"
JBL is building momentum in his speech while Jericho and Cade play tic- tac toe in the background.
"At Wrestlemania 25, I'm going to drop jaws, just you wait. I didn't come here to tell you the obvious fact that I'm a wrestling god. This is about HBK. My once former employee has been pulling a wool of your eyes. Wake up America! The man is a nut, a phony, a disgrace to our country. I despise bottom-feeders like him."
Jericho comes back on.
"Yes JBL, we will defeat him. He belongs in factory making speedos! When the light fades and the luchador band stops tuning, you'll be an afterthought Michaels. When everything is set and done, you can work for us.
"Fozzy needs a janitor and Layfield Energy needs some shoe shiners."
"You wife and kids will look at you and you'll come to us with that puppy dog face, and we'll pet you and watch you do your tricks like the show dog you are. That money you have won't last forever, remember that".
JBL laughs, sips wine and takes his leave.
"Thanks for having me Jericho, it was a pleasure. I hope all you people at home watch the demise of HBK. This is the beginning of a new era! Come escort me boy! Aren't you valet?"
Cade escorts JBL back to his limo in the parking lot and Jericho continues the show. Speaking of new era, I think it's time to introduce my next guest.
Jack Swagger, Mark Henry, and Paul Burchill comes on the show.
"Welcome boys, what are you doing here? This is a pleasant surprise. You guys can hang out. There's wine for everyone. CADE!! Get in here!!
Anonymous Guy's ECW was extreme and can be seen here.
-All hell breaks loose as Team Swagger destroys GM Teddy Long. Terry Funk makes his ECW return and Tony Atlas is sent to the hospital following a brutal attack. Morrison and Ricky Ortiz were both shown in action as well.
Lance Cade runs back from the parking lot and caters to team Swagger.
"It is alright boys, my best wishes to Tony Atlas. I'm tired of these has beens soaking up the spotlight. It's a damn shame and you guys don't don't deserve it. Terry Funk reminds me of HBK, broken, beaten, shellfish, and a hypocrite. Luckily for you, I have a guest".
Jericho pauses and faces the camera.
"I said I have a GUEST, that is singular meaning one. Team Swagger weren't my guests people, they just so happen to come here. Lady's and gentlemen, The death-defying SABU!!!"
No one appears.
"THE DEATH-DEFYING SABU!"
"THE DEATH-DEFYING SABU!"
Cade drags a bloody and destroyed Sabu from the the back of the set and drags him the couch.
"What happen buddy? You don't seem so well."
Jericho and Team Swagger have a laugh as Cade sets up a table and Burchill sets it on fire.
"YOU WANT EXTREME! YOU WANT EXTREME! THE WORLD'S STRONGEST MAN IS GONNA GIVE IT YOU!"
Henry does the World's Strongest Slam through the flaming table and everyone laughs.
"Now thash extreme! Jack Swaggahh!"
Jericho is shielded from Swagger's saliva again. Team Swagger takes their exit and Jericho warns that Funk, Dreamer, and RVD are all next.
The stage crew and Cade cleans up all of the carnage left by Team Swagger and the Jeritron 5000 shows the Smackdown recap.
Ray Bouguz's Smackdown was rebounded and can be viewed here.
-MITB qualifying matches are shown and Hurricane Helms and R-Truth have earned their way to Wrestlemania 25. Jesse, Festus, and Maria are quickly climbing the ranks and will main event against the Colons for the WWE tag team championship next week.
Matt Hardy and Jeff Hardy have their Wrestlemania 25 contract signing...with a special stipulation. Big Show faces Khali in the road to Wrestlemania match and Edge has some words for the big show.
"R-Truth in the MITB?!!" I'm excited! Hit the music guys!"
R-truth theme is played while Jericho orders Cade to dance like Truth. He does a horrible job and Jericho turns off the music.
"WHAT'S UP?! That was a good laugh right there, the man is a joke. Why don't go break dance in Times Square with the rest of the freaks? Maybe you and old ass Flair can have a dance off! The fossil no hair having, doggy trick doing Nature Boy Ric Flair.
"I crack myself up don't I? Anyway you've heard the rumors and they're true! My next guest Jeff Hardy!"
Hardy comes out and takes a seat. He asks for wine and Jericho denies him. You don't a DUI Hardy. Besides, I don't want my studio reduced to ashes like your house.
Hardy gets angered and stares down Jericho, but calms down.
"My brother Matt has betrayed me. I tried to turn the other cheek, but he kept pushing and pushing. At Wrestlemania, I'm going to show him who the better Hardy is. He said if WWE championships were a test I would fail. Well Matt, I had the belt didn't I? Did you have it? I'm going to put my brother out of his misery
"YAWN! Man Hardy, at this rate my billions of viewers will all fall asleep. Hold on Jeff. I have something for you on the set".
Jericho directs Jeff to the Jeritron 5000 and one of the camera men bashes Jeff's head into the flat screen. The attacker is Matt Hardy! It's an ambush! The two brothers begin to brawl and Jericho is worried about his set.
He orders Cade to help Matt. Jeff gives Cade a twist of fate threw the glass coffee table. Security arrives before any Hardy can do damage to one another and Jeff is thrown on the street while Matt is driven to the airport to go home.
"CLEAN THIS MESS UP CADE!" Jericho yells.
Cade is out cold from the twist of fate.
"My show will not end like this! I haven't broken down the walls yet! I'm doing it now. For the first time ever, I will show TNA footage here on the Highlight Reel!"
Jericho tries to act excited though his set is completely destroyed. The Jeritron 5000 is bash-proof after HBK's head went through it, so It's still working. The TNA recap is shown.
Kevin Canny's TNA Impact Playback can be seen here.
-There has been absolute turmoil between The Main Event Mafia and The TNA Front line. Eric Young and Alex Shelly have one heck of no DQ match for the X Division title.
"What caught my eye was the Front line/MEM feud. I have the man who made the right choice by leaving the Gayline, Rhynoooo!!"
Rhyno appears and seems pretty hyped to be on the Highlight Reel.
"Thanks for having me Jericho. I'm glad someone understand where I'm coming from here. They are all selfish! THEY NEVER CARED FOR ME! Those bastards, sons of bitches, I'll Gore them all!"
"Let it all out Rhyno, I couldn't agree more. The gayline were all hypocrites that just wanted to be the "hero". They want the spotlight, they want the fame and recognition as well. This just isn't a problem in WWE America, open your eyes".
"On RAW HBK is trying to live as if it was 1980. On ECW Terry Funk and Tommy Dreamer want to be "extreme". The fact that they won't leave the business and realize their time has passed is extreme".
"On Smackdown we have Ric Flair who is about 70 years old now. Do us a favor and go to a retirement home, cause I'm not changing your diapers. In TNA there is Sting. How old are you Sting? Wipe that paint off your face ASS CLOWN! I should call you a mime instead. This isn't the olden days anymore!"
"Yes Jericho Sting is especially shellfish and disgusting. I've watched your Reel when I'm not destroying the Front line. Now on to--
The camera goes to the parking lot where a car pulls up.
"Check that out...NOW CADE!"
Cade wobbles to the parking lot and sees nothing. "Everything is fine guys!"
Team 3D appears from out of the blue and 3-D's Cade. They run into the building and Rhyno is nervous. "OH Crap I gotta get outta here!"
Rhyno runs around the set looking for an exit and the lights get cut off. The lights turn on and Sting is in Rhyno's face with a baseball bat.
Rhyno begs with Sting, who isn't saying a word and Team 3-D turns Rhyno around and 3-D's him through another table.
Jericho is seen dragging Cade into his limo and orders the driver to drive off fast.
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