Channing Crowder Wants More Money
Miami Dolphins LB Channing Crowder and his agent think he’s worth more than what the 'Fins are currently offering. I don’t know what Miami is offering, but I do know that Crowder’s very dumb. I know this because he once said this:
“I couldn’t find London on a map if they didn’t have the names of the countries. I swear to God. I don’t know what nothing is. I know Italy looks like a boot. I learned that.”
“I know [Washington Redskins linebacker] London Fletcher. We did a football camp together. So I know him. That’s the closest thing I know to London. He’s black, so I’m sure he’s not from London. I’m sure that’s a coincidental name.”
Even though I know he’s dumb, I’m still surprised that he thinks he’s worth the big bucks already.
He had no interceptions, no sacks, no defensive touchdowns, and one forced fumble last season.
So what if he had 113 total tackles and 92 solo tackles? Tackles are like conversations.
I had 1,460 conversations last year. I counted them. Of the 1,460, I started 14. The other 1,446 were started by other people, mostly by my annoying neighbor who asked every Sunday why she kept hearing loud bangs followed by the words, “Get on the damn field, McFadden!”
My retarded point is that tackles can be misleading. It’s one thing to initiate 113 tackles, but it’s another to drop a guy when he runs right into your chest after blowing by the front line.
I understand that you’d like to get paid, Channing.
But please remember that you’re a Florida boy who hasn’t yet reached superstar status. Stick with the 'Fins, you’ll thank me later.
Original image via Cube
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