The View of a Heart Broken A-Rod Fan

Like Alex Rodriguez, I grew up without a father and had to find a comfort zone, a "safety zone" if you will, something to keep me happy. The sport of baseball was, and is, what keeps me going forward. Without it, I don't know where I would be.

I had plans, hopes, and dreams to become a big league baseball player. However, financially, without support, I couldn't make things work out and had to let it go.

While I have a great job now and make a decent living, baseball is still my passion. I am single with no kids and no other hobbies.

I remember being 11-years old, collecting baseball cards and putting all of my favorites in the front of my card album. The first page was filled with Alex Rodriguez rookie cards. 

Alex Rodriguez was my favorite player. I loved his style and the way he played the game.  I would try my best to imitate him when I was playing little league ball.

I wouldn't find out until my teenage years about how Alex Rodriguez grew up without a father, like myself.

Alex started playing baseball when he was four years old. When he was six, he started playing for the Khoury league in Miami, Florida. At age 11, he went on a national tour in PONY League to Tampa, Orlando, New Orleans, and San Francisco.

As a sophomore at Westminster Christian High School, Alex played for the Junior Olympic team and became an outstanding fielder and a dominating hitter.

During his junior season, he hit .450, helping Westminster to the 1992 National High School Championship. In his senior year, he batted .505 and stole 35 bases in 35 attempts.

Of course, his talent attracted the attention of many pro scouts, and he was drafted No. 1 overall in 1993 by the Seattle Mariners.

After getting called up and sent down, Rodriguez, like Mickey Mantle, wanted to give up and call it quits. However, Rodriguez's mom told him, "I don't want you home with that attitude. Whether you have a month left or three, you go out and play hard. You better care."

In 1996, in his first full season, he hit 36 home runs and drove in 123 RBI while batting .358, the best average in baseball.

Fast forward to Saturday, Feb. 7, 2009.  A day that I will never forget.

In 2003, when he won the American League home run title and the AL Most Valuable Player award as a shortstop for the Texas Rangers, Alex Rodriguez tested positive for two anabolic steroids, four sources have independently told Sports Illustrated.

I found out the news shortly before I left for work, and it hit me like a semi-tractor trailer doing 200 mph.

Rodriguez's name appears on a list of 104 players who tested positive for performance-enhancing drugs in Major League Baseball's survey testing, conducted in 2003, SI's sources say.

What really bothers me the most is that Alex Rodriguez didn't have to do what he did. Alex Rodriguez was great before he supposedly took steroids.

During the day, I couldn't get the image of A-Rod's December 2007 interview on 60 Minutes with Katie Couric out of my head. During that interview, Rodriguez flat out denied steroid use.

"For the record, have you ever used steroids, human growth hormone or any other performance-enhancing substance?" Couric asked.

"No," Rodriguez replied.

Asked if he had ever been tempted to use any of those things, Rodriguez told Couric, "No."

"You never felt like, 'This guy's doing it, maybe I should look into this, too? He's getting better numbers, playing better ball,'" Couric asked.

"I've never felt overmatched on the baseball field. I've always been a very strong, dominant position. And I felt that if I did my work as I've done since I was, you know, a rookie back in Seattle, I didn't have a problem competing at any level. So, no," he replied.

Before the report leaked Saturday, Rodriguez was given a hint of what was to come and a chance to tell his side of the story.

When approached by an SI reporter on Thursday at a gym in Miami, Rodriguez declined to discuss his 2003 test results. "You'll have to talk to the union," said Rodriguez. When asked if there was an explanation for his positive test, he said, "I'm not saying anything."

As an A-Rod fan, it is my fault for allowing myself to get wrapped up around something I have no control over.

From the photos of Rodriguez on my wall, to the New York Yankees tattoo on my right shoulder bearing his No. 13, the past several years of my life have revolved around my favorite player on my favorite team.

Regardless of what anyone thinks of me, that bears no importance to me in any way, shape, or form. I am who I am, and I love what I am going to love.

No matter how tough one acts, or how arrogant some may be, almost everyone with any kind of soul has something they care about in life. This is what I care about, and right now, I don't know what to think or what to do except to keep my head up.

My heartfelt message to Alex Rodriguez is to leave the World Baseball Classic training in the Dominican Republic, fly back to New York, and talk. Talk about everything.

Being upset about how it got out, trying to hide anything, downplaying it, is only going to make matters even worse.

Let everyone know that you made a mistake. Yes, regardless, you are most likely tarnished either way. But at least have some pride for yourself, and for the game of baseball that I know you care about as much as I do.

To any baseball fan who doesn't particularly like Rodriguez or the Yankees that is happy about this report, think again. 

While it can be amusing to some fans out there, you aren't a true fan unless this upsets you or makes you angry. This affects baseball on a grand scale and ruins what integrity was left. The game is now going to be tough to repair.

In closing, I would like to say that this really hurts and is disappointing, especially with an exciting baseball season drawing near.

Why A-Rod?, why?