Seven Reasons Why the NFL Is a Joke

IcemanCorrespondent IFebruary 3, 2009

1. The NFL sucks the fun out of everything. Examples: During the Bears/Colts Super Bowl, the league didn't let a church watch the game on a wall projector because it "violated" copyright laws...give me a break.  

Also, they didn't allow tailgating within a mile of the stadium because who knows how many bombs are hiding under those charcoal grills. A coach isn't allowed to wear a suit during the game, but NFL gear is required.  

Players' towels must be shorter than six inches, or else the team is fined. Look at the average NFL coach, he is a lifeless droid. Tom Coughlin, Marty Schottenheimer, and Bill Parcells could all put grown men to sleep with their postgame speeches.


2. The NFL has more convicts than your average jail. In 2006, nine Cincinnati players found ways to get arrested, including spousal abuse, resisting arrest, several DUIs, and burglary.  

Pacman Jones has been arrested at least five times in the last five years. In 2001, Nate Newton was arrested for dealing massive amounts of marijuana. The list goes on and on. I could write a book on criminals in the NFL.


3. All NFL offenses are exactly the same. There is no creativity. There is no difference. You could swap uniforms at half time and you couldn't tell the difference.  

The defenses are so tuned into what the offenses is going to do that the scores are so low. The punters get twice as much playing time as they did in college, which is boring for the fans. Special teams are so well-coached that touchdowns returns are rare.


4. College has tradition and a more fun atmosphere that includes living, breathing mascots, ancient rivals, and cheerleaders that don't look like hungover strippers. Notre Dame fans lighting candles before the game at the Grotto, SC players touching "Gouxs Gate" before their practice, Clemson players tapping Howard's Rock before running into Death Valley, the list goes on.  

With the way NFL players skip town every other year, there is no way they could play with pride.


5. The NFL's regular season is almost pointless. Due to the fact that your team could make the playoffs with more the six losses, it takes away from the excitement of the regular season.

In college ball, you lose the last game of the year, you are not going to the National Championship. In the NFL, you could lose your last four and still have a chance to win the Super Bowl.


6. The NFL is a few steps away from becoming scripted. If you don't know what that means, it's the same as WWE. Miami Mitch's article on refs throwing the game is more than enough evidence to say that this is already happening.  


7. Like NBA players walking up and down the court until the last few minutes, NFL players don't play with heart. They get paid, win or lose, so who cares? They are part of a system that make billions of dollars a year. The NFL is bureaucratic, un-smiling, and clinical.  

Most college players aren't going to be drafted, so they play because they love the game and enjoy displaying the pride of wearing the school's Jersey.

This year's Super Bowl was my first and last NFL game I will ever waste three hours watching. So next year, join me on Saturdays to watch some good football and avoid the Sunday sleepers.