The Bluths Explain Football: The Jacksonville Jaguars' Quarterback Situation

Nate Dunlevy@NateDunlevyGuest ColumnistMay 21, 2012

Is he a Michael or a Buster?
Is he a Michael or a Buster?Sam Greenwood/Getty Images

There's no better school of NFL wisdom than Arrested Development.

All summer, I'll be looking to the Bluth family for insight into the AFC South. I'll work through the episodes and look for the secret wisdom that only the insipid and pampered can provide.

Today, we look at the Jacksonville Jaguars' quarterback situation and see what Episode 1 of Season 1 can teach us.


Today's Episode: The Pilot

Plot Summary: Michael Bluth is passed over for a deserved promotion by his father, George. Michael is initially irate and makes plans to abandon his misfit relatives to start a new life with his son away from the insanity of his banal siblings and drunken mother.

Michael has a change of heart, however, as his father reveals that he passed over Michael to protect him from the legal troubles that would soon engulf the family business.


Key Quotes:

"Son, it's not the right time."—George Bluth

This one goes out to Chad Henne. He's probably the best quarterback in camp, but the Jaguars can't give him the promotion to starter. It's just not the right time. It doesn't matter how hard he works, someone else is going to driving the boat. He can't get frustrated if he isn't passed the torch immediately. The team will need him soon enough.

Who knows? A successful run could lead to a revitalized career for Henne.


"18th-century agrarian business, but it's all the same principles."—Buster Bluth

What better way to describe the Jack Del Rio offense? Poor Blaine Gabbert's post-graduate work in football came in the most retrograde offense imaginable. While it's true that with a year of study under his belt he should be better, you have to question the value of the subject matter he was studying.

Let's just hope he's learned how to read a map and avoid crippling panic attacks.


"They cannot arrest a husband and a wife for the same crime."—George Bluth, Sr.

Gene Smith dodged a bullet when Shad Khan fired Jack Del Rio last year. He has to hope he's safe, but he should remember how Michael responded to his dad's theory.

"I don't believe that's true..."


"You love it here?"

"I'm having the time of my life."

—Michael and George Sr.

Some people probably don't think of the Jacksonville job as that great, but Mike Mularkey has to be loving it. He's got a committed owner, low expectations and a young quarterback with prototypical size and arm strength to work with.  Can't you just see him giving Terrance Knighton a high five and saying, "What's up, T-bone"?


"You and I have waited long enough. It's time to move on."—Michael Bluth

I love Shad Khan principally because I think he wants to do what's best for the fans. If it looks like things are going south with Gabbert and Smith, Khan will move on. However, if the fans have fallen in love with their often-annoying family members, Khan will give them what they want and stay the course. He's a loving father caught in a bad situation, just trying to do the right thing.



The Jaguars' quarterback situation is a bit of a mess, and it's easy to see why level-headed fans would be frustrated by it. There's no reason to give up yet, however. Sticking it out may lead to a lot of good times in the future.

After all, nothing is more important than breakfast.

I mean, family.

I mean, quarterbacks.


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