NFL Predictions: Super Bowl XLIII

Note: The quotes in this article are fictional.

Arizona vs. Pittsburgh (-6½)

Super Bowl XLIII, in Tampa, the "Lap Dance Capital of the World," pits the upstart Cardinals against the Steelers, and both teams, like many who visit the fine city, are there looking for a happy ending.

The Steelers are gunning for their sixth Super Bowl title, which would put them one up on the Cowboys and 49ers. It's the Steelers seventh appearance in the Super Bowl, with their only loss coming in Super Bowl XXX, a 27-17 loss to the Cowboys.

Mike Tomlin knows a victory on Sunday would cement his place in Steeler lore among former Super Bowl-winning coaches Chuck Knoll and Bill Cowher.

"The significance of this game isn't lost on me," says Tomlin. "My legacy is at stake, but more importantly, of this organization's five Super Bowl wins, not one has come in the Chinese 'Year of the Ox,' which just began on Monday, not to be confused with the American 'Year of the Ax,' which began for NFL coaches as soon as the regular season ended.

"I certainly don't want to be known as the coach of the Pittsburgh team that lost the franchise's second Super Bowl, the first being that loss to the Cowboys in 1996, a year known to Neil O'Donnell as the 'Year of the Goat.'"

"Just a side note here: former Broncos running back Travis Henry was born in 'The Year of the Rabbit,' which makes sense, because that dude's gone 'five-hole' more than Pittsburgh Penguins superstar Sydney Crosby.

"And when Travis and his offspring sing 'We Are Family,' it makes Willie Stargell and the 1979 Pittsburgh Pirates' version of the same seem like a small production."

Arizona head coach Ken Whisenhunt, who served as Pittsburgh's offensive coordinator when they won Super Bowl XL, has strong motivation of his own to bring the Cardinals their first Super Bowl win. When Bill Cowher retired, Whisenhunt was passed over for the Pittsburgh head coaching job, a position that eventually was awarded to Tomlin.

"Tomlin got the job," says Whisenhunt. "And I got jobbed. Even my offensive line coach, Russ Grimm, had his fairy tale existence shattered when he was passed over for the job. But I don't have time to be bitter, except when I'm cruising Lake Havasu on my yacht, the Sweet Revenge.

"For now, I'll speak no more of this, lest not until Sunday's pregame speech, when I'll give my team an embellished and practically fictional account of how I was wrongly overlooked for the job. But I've got nothing but respect for Tomlin."

"Likewise," says Tomlin. "I've got nothing but love for Ken. And Biz Markie. But really, who says 'Nobody beats the Whis'? I did for the job. And I plan to in the Super Bowl, provided the game is not close and I'm not forced to make a clutch decision, like unnecessarily going for a two-point conversion.

"Or having Big Ben roll out and fall down instead of trying in earnest to pickup the game-clinching first down. Or having the NFL's Defensive Player of the Year fill in as a deep-snapper."

Like most Super Bowls, the outcome of this one is likely to be determined by the play of the quarterbacks. Ben Roethlisberger and Kurt Warner each have a Super Bowl victory already, and both have overcome their share of adversity in their careers.

"I just hope my attempt to 'go for two' finds more success than Coach Tomlin did in last year's playoffs," says Roethlisberger, whose surname loosely translates to "man incapable of wearing his baseball cap correctly."

"As for Warner, I see a lot of similarities in our career paths. We both went through a lot. Kurt went through NFL Europe to get here. I went through a windshield to get here. I've tolerated nagging injuries; Kurt's tolerated a nagging wife.

"Kurt believes in a higher power. I believe in the power of Santonio Holmes to get himself, and others, high. And Kurt and I can both spell 'cat,' assuming we're spotted the 'C' and the 'A.'"

Indeed, there are similarities. But there are stark differences between Warner and Roethlisberger. Warner is a traditional pocket passer and makes his best throws when not hurried. Roethlisberger, while able to make throws in the pocket, is often at his best on the run, and some of the Steelers' biggest plays have come when Roethlisberger evacuates the pocket.

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