Rex Ryan: The New Chuck Norris

Cole TesslerCorrespondent IJanuary 24, 2009

Many of you know Chuck Norris from Walker, Texas Ranger and the other roles he played, but today he is mainly known by his jokes.

Lets look at an example: Chuck Norris sneezes with his eyes open. Or Apple pays Chuck Norris 99 cents every time he listens to a song …

Well, now, after watching the press conference with Rex Ryan, I deem Rex Ryan the new Chuck Norris.

Let’s look at some examples of some quotes he used to prove why he deserves to be the new Chuck Norris:

"I know how to coach this game."

"We're gonna be attacking from the whistle — and not to the whistle, but through the whistle. We're gonna turn the heat up. We're gonna let the fur fly and let's see what happens."

"We want to be known as the most physical football team in the NFL."

"Keep It Likable and Learnable. K.I.L.L."

 "If you take a swipe at one of ours, we'll take a swipe at two of yours."

That last one sends chills up my spine every time I hear it. Now, that Rex Ryan has established himself as a “bad ass” and a hardcore coach, I think he should be the Next Chuck Norris.

We need to create some Rex Ryan jokes.

Here are some of mine adapted some from Chuck Norris jokes and other jokes:

Rex Ryan is projected to win 10 coach of the year awards and 15 Rex Ryan awards.

Rex Ryan doesn't sleep he waits.

Killing Rex Ryan doesn’t make him dead; it just makes him angry.

If you wake up in the morning, it’s because Rex Ryan spared your life.

You get the picture...

Now, what are your jokes?