Tim Tebow to Give Speech to Church on Easter Sunday: What Will He Talk About?

Brendan O'HareContributor IApril 7, 2012

FLORHAM PARK, NJ - MARCH 26:  Quarterback Tim Tebow addresses the media as he is introduced as a New York Jet at the Atlantic Health Jets Training Center on March 26, 2012 in Florham Park, New Jersey. Tebow, traded from the Denver Broncos last week, will be the team's backup quarterback according to Jets head coach Rex Ryan. Tebow, the 2007 Heisman Trophy winner, started 11 games in 2011 for Denver and finished with a 7-4 record as a starter. He led the Broncos to a playoff overtime win against the Pittsburgh Steelers in the first round before eventually losing to the New England Patriots in the next round.  (Photo by Mike Stobe/Getty Images)
Mike Stobe/Getty Images

Tim Tebow is expected to deliver a speech to 20,000 Texans at the Celebration Church just outside of Austin on Easter Sunday.

That's nice and all, but the real question is, what will Tebow talk about? Being a man who just loves to talk about whatever obscure denomination of Christianity he is at all times, and invoke it into Internet memes and the like, he probably has a lot to discuss with a congregation.

He was the one who supposedly reached out to the church at first, so he must have something of some importance to say. Well, maybe not "importance" per se, but he still will be saying words to a large crowd of people who will eat up every syllable.

Here are some guesses as to what the Celebration Church could potentially have their ears blessed with for as long as Tebow decides to talk:
  • Jesus;
  • Easter;
  • God;
  • Texas God;
  • Rex Ryan God;
  • A two-hour set in which Tebow plays various instruments;
  • Tebow's singing debut;
  • What Thanksgiving means to him;
  • Passive-aggressive talk about Mark Sanchez;
  • New World Order;
  • The Illuminati;
  • A story about how he got lost on the way to the gig;
  • The true meaning of the Easter Bunny;
  • How the Easter Bunny isn't real;
  • How he subsequently hates children;
  • Announcement of the apocalypse;
  • Retirement announcement.

Purely speculation, obviously, but any of those things is fair play when Tebow reaches out to a church with a massive following on Easter Sunday.

I think. I don't really know how those giant churches work. As far as I know, there is actually a legitimate chance that Tebow breaks out an acoustic guitar and plays something along the lines of "Christ the Lord Is Risen Today". YouTube will have finally found its purpose if that is the case.