MLB Power Rankings: All 30 Teams, Opening Day to World Series Champion

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MLB Power Rankings: All 30 Teams, Opening Day to World Series Champion
Sarah Glenn/Getty Images
The Marlins and Cardinals kick things off tonight on Opening Day.

Sport is a production.

Every year we see new cameos, new frontmen, sequels, trilogies, flash-in-the-pans, ensembles, and fresh faces. Some players re-invent themselves, a la Jonah Hill and his disappointing, newly-found proclivity for healthy life decisions, and some players orchestrate their own enigmatic reincarnation like a grey-haired, ash-wielding version of Mickey Rourke in The Wrestler (yeah, I'm talking to you Lance Berkman).

But, it's the unforeseeable elements of a production that make sport, and entertainment, the spectacle that it is. Six months ago, who really saw The Artist walking away with Best Picture honors?  Likewise, who saw Tony LaRussa going out on top after Adam Wainwright, Ace and Cy Young candidate, went down with a season-ending injury?

It's the murkiness of the crystal ball that makes sport so mystifying. But, against all logic and reason I will present to you what I see as the futures for all 30 MLB teams this coming season. Would it help if I told you I stole these predictions from the three-nippled fortune teller at U.S. #1 Flea Market and Antiques?  Works every time...

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