Houston Texans: Green Eggs and Manning; Peyton Manning Will Never Be a Texan

James DoubleUAnalyst IFebruary 14, 2012

INDIANAPOLIS - NOVEMBER 01:  Peyton Manning #18 of Indianapolis Colts throws a pass during the NFL game against the Houston Texans  at Lucas Oil Stadium on November 1, 2010 in Indianapolis, Indiana.  (Photo by Andy Lyons/Getty Images)
Andy Lyons/Getty Images

I am Fan.

Fan I am.


Do you like Texans and Man(ning)?

I do not like them,

Fan I am.

I do not like Texans and Man(ning)


I would not like him here for 8.

I would not like him here with Yates.

I would not like him here with Kubes.

I would not like him, you are rubes!


I would not, could not, behind Meyers

I could not, would not, take a flyer.

I would not like him with our line.

QBs do not age like wine.


I would not like a player-coach.

This is not his team to poach.

I do not like him frail and old.

I would not like him here, all told!


I would not like him here. (Be fair!).

(Okay,) I would not like him anywhere!


Seriously, though, folks, I know this is all just idle speculation to keep us talking football in the cold weather, but there are too many articles saying this is a good idea, and I'm only seeing a negative viewpoint in comments.

Of course it's a good idea—if you're Peyton Manning.

Who wouldn't want to play on a team that was a healthy, above-average QB from a Super Bowl?

Heck, Peyton with one arm and one leg is that. Another ring? Yes please!

But the Texans aren't Peyton Manning, and what's good for the goose is not good for the guy buying the goose.

Gary Kubiak is the Head Coach and Offensive Coordinator of this team (you know, the team that went 10-3 with a rash of major injuries), and Kubiak's contributions as coach are largely that of his offensive system. It's a very specific offense, one that is much unlike other teams'.

Matt Schaub has been running this system (quite well) for years. Most of the other players of offense have been playing in this system for years.

T.J. Yates studied it in college and did okay playing in it on very little practice because he'd been basically playing it for years—that's why they picked him, a guy who didn't even get asked to the combine to try out, in the 5th round and not the 7th or undrafted, in a (to that point) completely defensive draft.

Peyton has had tremendous (mostly regular season) success playing in a different system. One that was catered to and molded around him.

He doesn't know how to play any other way. He doesn't do the things that the Texans do. So do you bring Mohammad to the mountain, or bring the mountain to Mohammad?

Trick question: it doesn't matter.

Which ever side gives, it will take time (likely a full season) to make it work.

That's time a 36-year-old with a year's layoff and four neck surgeries doesn't have.

And that's definitely not time that this Texans team, which is peaking right now and struggling to keep its best players around for one more year, doesn't have.

Now, with all the talent the team has, they might still make the playoffs, but they won't do much better than this past year. They'll lose the cohesion and familiarity that (other than talent) is what makes this team run.

And that's all assuming you can get him for basically nothing, and either trade away Schaub (that would be the easy part) or have him sit down and have a starting and backup QB who play completely different games.

If Peyton were healthy and football ready. And Kubiak and he could find some way to work together in a successful way. And you could clear Schaub's contract off the books to make room for Foster and Mario. And Yates or some other backup could learn to play in Peyton's system (that worked in Indy, right?). And you could get the whole offense to buy into this new way of playing.

Then yeah, this might be a good idea for the short term (i.e. one year, as you'd never get Peyton back cheap enough for a second if he'd been even mildly successful—assuming he survives the season).

Anyone want to take bets on that happening?

I'm setting the over/under at "no."

But you don't have to take my word for it.