World Football's 15 Dumbest Summer Transfer Rumours

Everybody loves a good transfer rumor. What about the dumb ones?

Transfer rumors are, by their nature, uncertain pieces of information. And because they serve as the foundation of the world football rumor mill, the whole thing often turns into a contest of escalating insanity.

That's what we want to talk about today. This here's a list of 15 of the dumbest, most foolish summer transfer rumors we've heard so far.

Something missing? Leave your favorite crazy rumor in the comments.

1. Carlos Tevez to Anywhere

Clearly, Carlos Tevez is going to leave Manchester City at some point. But his winter transfer saga wore us out. And now, fatigue has set in.

No matter which club is linked with Tevez these days (and there are a few), we're considering it a dumb rumor. Enough already.

Wake us up when it's over.

2. Robin Van Persie to Barcelona

Look, Robin Van Persie could leave Arsenal. He's in his prime and if the season ended today, the Gunners wouldn't play in Europe next year.

But Barcelona? Really?

RvP is a great player, but he wouldn't really fit into Barcelona's team. Besides, they're pretty set for attackers right now.

3. Cristiano Ronaldo Back to England

So, Cristiano Ronaldo is apparently fed up at Real Madrid. "Disillusioned" is the word in the Mail Online's breathless report.

Right. The fans hate him so much because Real are currently in first place in La Liga. Sure.

Oh, and if you're going to report that Ronaldo misses Alex Ferguson, you might not want to follow that by saying Manchester City would be the favorites to sign him. D'oh!

Ronaldo heading back to England? Don't count on it.

4. Gareth Bale to Barcelona

From the crazy Barcelona rumor files, here's another stupid entry.

Look, tabloids. Barcelona don't need Gareth Bale. I'm sure your sources are right and all and that Barcelona have watched him SEVEN times. But they already have a guy who can dribble at defenders and create goals.

His name is Lionel Messi.

5. Sergio Agüero to Real Madrid

Get this. Real Madrid are going to buy Sergio Agüero. Because Manchester City are totally willing to sell and, you know, they can't fend off interest from big clubs due to their glaring financial limitations.

Oh, and Real are going to sell Gonzalo Higuaín to pay for it. (Actually, that part could happen).

6. Kolo Toure to Anzhi

Manchester City just can't hold onto their star players, it seems.

The latest loss is going to be Yaya Toure, who's wanted by Anzhi Makhachkala in a big-money…

Wait, what? They want Kolo Toure? And they're sure?

Sell, sell, sell.

7. Junior Hoilett to Bayern Munich

Blackburn's Junior Hoilett is not the kind of player Bayern Munich chase around Europe.

Basel's Xherdan Shaqiri is the kind of player Bayern Munich chase around Europe.

Maybe Mirror Football mixed up their teams. It can happen to anyone. Both Blackburn and Basel start with a B.

8. Matt Phillips to Cost Liverpool £10 Million

Matt Phillips is a 20-year-old winger who plays for Blackpool in the Championship. FootyBunker and others want us to believe Liverpool will pay £10 million for his services.

That seems a bit steep. Don't they mean Chelsea or someone?

9. Robert Lewandowski

Borussia Dortmund's Robert Lewandowski has been linked with a move to Bayern Munich.

But as Lewandowski has pointed out, he already plays for the German champs—and the current leaders this season. So why would he want a transfer to Bayern?

10. Park Chu-Young to Leave Arsenal

Park Chu-Young is reportedly threatening to leave Arsenal this summer if he doesn't get more playing time. Boo hoo.

Actually, that's not a bad rumor. What's dumb about it is the fact that Park went to Arsenal in the first place. He's not up to Arsenal's standard (even this year), and it was dumb for Arsene Wenger to sign him.

And now, it's even dumber for Park to start making threats. If that's what he did.

11. Young, French, Unknown: Must Be Arsenal-Bound

Here's another one for Arsenal. Like the Park rumor, this one could actually be true.

But it's the presentation that's stupid. According to the Sun, "Arsenal will put Montpellier striker Olivier Giroud high on their summer hitlist. Giroud, 25, heads the French League goal charts with 15."

And that's it. It's almost like the Sun's staffers said, "Hey! This guy's French, he's somewhat young and he's somewhat unknown. Arsene Wenger must be interested!"

All of those things are feasible, but without anything in the way of context in the article, how are we to know the Sun didn’t just throw it in there for that very reason?

12. Darren Bent to Liverpool

You're right, Darren. The rumors linking you to Liverpool are laughable.

They like their strikers tall, pony-tailed, overpriced and useless in front of goal. Your nine league goals this season just wouldn't make poor Andy Carroll feel very good about himself.

13. Johnny Heitinga to Spartak Moscow

Trust us: No player ever moves from an English club to Russia willingly. Back in the day they called that being sent to the Gulag.

That is, unless Anzhi and their oil money are involved. They're not.

14. Spanish Duo to Liverpool

A radio station said it, eh? By Jove, it must be true, then.

Roll out the red carpet for Diego Godin and "left back-cum-centre back" (Seriously, that's a direct quote. Does it need an asterisk?) Alvaro Dominguez.

And, yes, we've been watching Beavis and Butt-head lately.

15. £60k Per Week for Hugo Rodallego

Hugo Rodallega, who has scored two league goals this season, clearly thinks he's in the same league as Chelsea's Fernando Torres.

Why? Rodallega reportedly wants £60,000 per week. In an EXCLUSIVE, Mirror Football says Fulham and Tottenham are willing to pony up. But only Torres can get away with scoring so few goals and making such a ridiculous salary.

Way to aim high, Hugo.