TNA IMPACT Jan.12 2012: I Want My Thursday Night Back

Double A .Correspondent IIJanuary 14, 2012

If you know me or know of me around Bleacher Report/Twitter, then you know I am not a TNA fan.

I have had many debates with TNA fans as to why I do not care for that promotion and after much frustration we agree to disagree…or I agree to turn the channel and they agree to continue to celebrate mediocrity.

Last night I found myself home and on Twitter.  As usual people were tweeting about TNA.  Not one to be left out of a discussion, I figured what the hell? How bad can it be?

Well, let me just state that the most interesting part of the night was learning via Twitter than Kurt Angle and I both follow Walgreens…

Before I get accused of blindly bashing TNA, I will run through the few positives I managed to pull out of the garbage can.

1.  Since the last time I decided to slum it, the overall look of TNA has slightly improved.  There seems to be a little more dazzle with the set up, lighting and wait, was that a laser I just saw?

2.  ODB.

3.  Hardy/Roode match.

4.  Angle and Storm, decent match.

I was surprised to find parts of the programming enjoyable.  I will step out of my comfort zone and say that I think the product has improved slightly.  Enough for me to be a fan?  No.  Enough for me to feel like I did not waste my night?  No.  

I still found more negatives than positives overall with some of the negatives cancelling out the aforementioned positives.

1.  Not enough dazzle.  Now don’t get me wrong folks, I am all about moderation.  There are many stages of dazzle, not enough dazzle (TNA), too much dazzle (Jericho’s jacket) and then WWE, which I feel has just the right amount.  Remember this is lighting and production value I am referring to, not actual wrestling. 

The quality of TNA is seedy at best.  Doesn’t matter how great the match is, I still feel like I am watching a bad softcore porn movie.  Everything has a dim, soft focus and the acting is terrible.

This feeds into my ongoing dislike of the brand.  They film Impact at the same place more often than not.  They have a set.  So how hard is it to spend some money and make the place look better, better lighting etc? It’s not like Dixie Carter and Eric Bischoff have to haul around the equipment and set it up week after week. 

Sure, wrestling isn’t about lighting and set design, but when you mix that with some bad performances and storylines, and your audience feels like they are watching a bad movie on Showtime After Dark, it is a problem.  

2.  Everyone who loves an alcohol-guzzling, booby-grabbing, gut-jiggling gal—give me a hell yeah!  Hell yeah! ODB made me laugh and say “WTF” out loud. I was pleasantly surprised and I love her gimmick! 

However, Eric Young’s presence at the ring was a bit distracting, though I found their goofiness refreshing.

I actually prefer her to some of the other Knockouts.  For example, Angelina Love and Winter.  Winter is about as relevant as she is tan these days and Angelina Love’s right arm looks like it has been doing meth for the last 20 years.  She should get that checked out. 

I enjoyed the match but did not see superiority beaming from the ring.  An argument that TNA fans love to make is that the Knockouts stomp the Divas in the ability department and I did not see it, at least in that match.

3.  While Hardy and Roode put on a decent match, I could not help but feel a little déjà vu.  Where oh where had I seen this match before? Oh yeah, four days ago at Genesis. 

Granted, WWE is guilty of riding a feud until it is stomped out, run over, backed over and buried, but we are usually spared a repeat for at least a week.

From a business standpoint it does not makes sense.  TNA wants you to fork over some major dough for a match that you can see four days later for free? No wonder their profits are down. 

If little Jimmy had a lemonade stand and was selling each cup for five dollars, but at the end of business would give you a cup for a nickel, in order to keep left over lemonade from going to waste, what time would you buy your lemonade?

4.  Angle is looking old and kind of like a hillbilly…not sure if that qualifies as my negative or not? Honestly their match was probably the best of the night. 

However, I could have done without them bickering in the ring first and the waste of time that was the “I don’t have my wrestling gear” bit.

5.  Is it just me or has TNA gotten more vignette-y as of late? The locker room segment between Sting and Garrett reminded me of an after school special.  Bad lighting, old as hell lockers…I half expected Sting to offer Garrett some drugs or for Chris Hansen from “To Catch A Predator” to jump out and Sting to drop his condoms and beer and run. 

“You’re not a referee, you’re a wrestler.”  Points for making me laugh.  Also, honorable mention to Eric Bischoff for reminding me I don’t miss seeing him on a mic.

I may sound like a bitter, WWE-praising meanie but I promise you this stems more from frustration than dislike.  When TNA first started airing it was an edgy alternative for people that grew tired of the antics of WWE. 

I felt like I could watch both.  Comparing the two promotions felt more like comparing apples to oranges.  However, now it seems instead of an apple and orange we have an apple and a rotting apple. 

In my opinion, TNA tries too hard to be the WWE.  Don’t get me wrong, WWE is not without their flaws but like a girl with a hickey on her neck and a purse full of make-up, they just hide them better.  Ideas, angles, and talent that do not cut it in WWE seem to get picked up by TNA, and instead of pushing the company forward it turns viewers like me off. 

TNA needs to spend less money recruiting WWE rejects and more money on developing their own brand—and possibly a business class or two.  

Sure, as of late, more TNA stars have been getting pushed than the ones that meandered over from WWE but their roster is still padded with WWE has-beens. Sure, they need work too but TNA needs to take notice that deep down there is a reason they were “Future Endeavored.” 

Final thoughts:  TNA isn’t a baby anymore.  They have had ample time to grow and flourish.  Some serious revamping is needed, in my opinion. 

Maybe then I won’t feel as if I wasted a perfectly good Thursday night… Somewhere there was paint drying I could have been watching. 


Matt Morgan and Crimson defeated Robbie T and Robbie E.

ODB defeated Winter

James Storm defeated Kurt Angle

Jeff Hardy defeated Bobby Roode (TNA Champion) via disqualification.



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