The minority owner/hip hop legend and his wife could be parents any day now. According to Radar Online, Beyonce could give birth as early as today.
To everyone hoping they name the baby Jigga Jr. sorry, according to Holly Baby, it’s a girl. While we’re talking names, Gather threw around a rumor that Beyonce is naming her baby…Beyonce. Since that’s the definition of unoriginal, here are a few better ideas.
Ballso Hard Carter
If Jay-Z and Beyonce named their daughter Ballso, middle name Hard, she’d be a guaranteed WNBA stud. On top of that, Terrell Suggs would instantly offer Miss Carter a full-ride scholarship to Ball So Hard University. WNBA might be the way to go with the Nets not looking so good anyway.
Prob One-Hundred Carter
Jay-Z had 99 problems…and now he has 100. I kid, I kid, but seriously, how awesome is that name?
Dwightita Hova Carter
This one is if New Jersey is really getting desperate to bring in Dwight Howard. There isn’t a more powerful selling point than naming your baby after someone. How could Dwightita, I mean, Dwight say no?
Now that names are out of the way, here are a helpful few tips for the new parents.
Keep Her Away from Kanye
Yeah Jay-Z, you just did a collaborative album with Kayne West, you’re tight, but limiting his time around the baby would be wise. And definitely no babysitting for Mr. West; he might see that she doesn’t have any teeth and try to shove diamonds in her mouth.
Protect Her from Ether
As soon as Ballso, Prob, Dwightita, or whatever her name is listens to Nas’ diss song, they’ll be scarred for life. Just isn’t a good look for pops.
David Daniels is a featured columnist at Bleacher Report and a syndicated writer. Follow him on Twitter.