I decided to do some research on what NBA players, coaches, and teams will be trying to accomplish in the New Year. Here are the NBA’s 2009 resolutions.

Dwight Howard: Learn a post move. At some point it has to happen, right?

Kyle Lowry: Be seen in the same room as MA$E. Until this happens, I won’t be convinced they aren’t the same person.

Ricky Rubio: Roll the dice and declare for the draft. Sure he could end up in Minnesota, OKC, or Sacramento, but he also has a chance to land in a large market like Washington, L.A., or Golden State. As Zach’s favorite movie, Summer Catch, would say, “If you want big rewards, you gotta take big risks.”

Jose Calderon: Pull a Tanya Harding on Rubio so he can continue to be the best Spanish point guard in the league.

Joe Alexander: Bring unintentional comedy to a new level by taking part in the 2009 Dunk Contest.

Kevin Garnett: Be more intense.

Chauncey Billups: Move in with George Karl already. Karl may love Billups more than I love the Nintendo Wii.

Oklahoma City Thunder: Plan their parade through downtown OKC when they manage to get nine wins and Blake Griffin.

Joe Dumars: Hope that no one catches on that the Iverson deal was strictly a salary dump and that this season was a waste.

Mike Woodson: Pray that the Hawks keep flying under the radar this season so there won’t be a huge letdown when they’re bounced in the second round.

Lawrence Frank: Give half of his salary for this season to Devin Harris.

Jeff Green: Eat more. You’re a power forward and should weigh more than 150 pounds.

Jason Thompson: Challenge Peja Stojakovic for the “Who Can Keep His Mouth Agape More?” Contest.

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