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It's Groundhog Day for Mark Cuban and the Dallas Mavericks. Just as Bill Murray had to play the day over and over again until he got it right in the movie, Cuban and the Mavs needed to keep ...

Jason Kidd to Dallas: Part Deux

by John 'Fatty'-Fatland [HUMOR]

13

2,854 reads

Humor

February 18, 2008


It's Groundhog Day for Mark Cuban and the Dallas Mavericks.

Just as Bill Murray had to play the day over and over again until he got it right in the movie, Cuban and the Mavs needed to keep working the trade over until it was acceptable to the NBA powers. So here we go again.

Pending league approval, the deal works something like this:

Dallas gets Jason Kidd, Malik Allen, and Antoine Wright.

New Jersey gets Devin Harris, Trenton Hassell, Desagana Diop, Maurice Ager, and Keith Van Horn. The Nets would also receive two first round picks in 2008 and 2010, and Mark Cuban would write a check to the Nets for $3,000,000.

The original trade included Devean George and Jerry Stackhouse. But when George said, “Hell no, I won’t go!” the Dallas fans let out a collective “Whaaat!” like Moe Sizlack of The Simpsons fame. The trade was stopped dead in its tracks.

Further complicating matters, it was learned that Jerry "Big Mouth" Stackhouse said there was a backdoor deal of sorts; New Jersey would release him, then after 30 days, he would triumphantly return to the Mavs.

Although back door, under the table deals, are actually a long standing trade tradition in the NBA, Stackhouse forgot about the don’t ask, don’t tell, don’t open your big fat mouth policy and completely ruined the deal. 

The Mavericks were discombobulated and in limbo. As Dirk Nowitzki mentioned at the All-Star Game, “its been a strange week.”

Dallas’s season and playoff hopes looked very bright with Jason Kidd at the helm and piloting the Mavs’ ship. After the deal looked doubtful, it looked as if Dallas had lost its captain and rudder, taking on water and sinking badly in the wildly competitive Western Conference.

Mark Cubans’ Mavericks were now ‘Lost’ on the island in the Bermuda Triangle of its own making—trapped in never-ending episodes of what could’ve been.

If Cuban created this mess, then Mark could surely fix it. Right?

Old Mark would’ve run on to the court at the All-Star Game during introductions, grabbed the microphone, and protested the Mavs were being cheated by the evil and conspiring Commish, David Stern.

He'd then go on to pay the largest fine in NBA history. In fact, it’s rumored Stern has several blank checks, already signed by Cuban,  for the very purpose of paying fines.

The new Mark has learned that no crisis is so big and so large, that it can’t be solved by a simple signature on a check. And that’s exactly what Mark Cuban did.

No George, no Stackhouse, no Problem!

First he replaced George and Stackhouse with Trenton Hassell. Then in an unusual move, Cuban signed Keith Van Horn who had been out of basketball for two years, and paid him $4,000,000 to go play for the Nets. Wow, I wonder how long it took Keith to say yes to that?

Amazingly, the math works, if you're a billionaire.

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13 comments Last one added about 1 year ago — Leave a Comment

  1. ...

    I can't wait to see what Jason Kidd can do with the Mavericks.

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    Cuban had to get him at all cost - his ego wouldn't let it go down any other way. He lost Shaq (he absolutely wanted him and placed the call to Arison himself) and lost him to his nemesis, Sarver. What I don't understand is why he chased two completely different types of trades. Did the team need that much help? I thought Dallas was the sleeping giant, just laying low and plodding away, doing enough to get there come post-season, seething under the pressure of the way the last two seasons ended. That made them dangerous, in my opinion. Guess I was reading the signs all wrong. Oh wait, isn't that supposed to be San Antonio? Isn't Kidd 5 years older than Nash when Cuban wouldn't pay him enough due to his age and back issues? Wasn't that 2 and very nearly 3 MVP season's ago for Nash? How much is he paying J-Kidd now?

    In any case, will be interesting to see Kidd play with Dirk. Is there any one player worth watching in the East outside of Boston and Orlando now?

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      Lisa,
      I think its just Marks old age setting in. When you become older, your values change. Or maybe in this case, he's been doing well on the stock market and has some money to blow. Interesting thought you brought up about Nash and now how Mark is willing to pay though the yazoos for Kidd.

      Next year Kidd will cost about 22 mil.

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    I was hoping we would not get Hassell but Kidd for Harris and two firsts is fine with me. KVH could easily break this deal now which would be horrible.

    Nice read.

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      Stephen,

      Sorry I didn't spend any real time on the NJ side of the trade. All the sexy stuff seemed to side with Dallas and Cuban, while NJ just quietly did its job. Maybe you could share an article from the Nets side?

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    Yeah, I'll definately write one up tommorrow or the next day as the deal is finalized.

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    As much as I lovee Jason Kidd and the Nets I think Kidd was a coward to abondon his team the way he did! He's a loser to me right now!!!

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    Stephen,

    Post the link on my Forum when you do. You got to admit, this is one interesting season.

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    Seriously... is Jason Kidd worth Devin Harris, your backup center and 2 first round picks?

    This year Kidd is Brett Favre 2005-6 version... he puts up the occassional big stats and costs his team with turnovers and inaccuracy (< 37% FG). Can Kidd come back a la Favre '07... not many mid-30s athletes can.

    I wouldn't have done this deal and Cuban was right in his initial stance to keep his team intact. Sure he can afford it, he's giving Michael Finley $20 mill this year to drop jumpers for the Spurs, but I don't see this putting them over the top this year and I don't see Kidd immediately charging up the running game. Avery Johnson is the coach and he's chosen to slow this team down and abandon Nellie's old run-and-gun style and Jason Kidd is not helpful in a half-court offense.

    Dirk, Jet, Dampier and Howard are locked up for $50 mill per year until 2011 (Dirk can leave 2010), and without those two picks, the Mavs have no way to infuse new talent into this team if Kidd doesn't take them to the promised land or runs out of gas in the next year or two.

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    Agree with your analysis on the trade, but I don't think it'll work. Kidd just doesn't have enough gas in the tank to lead the team past the Warriors if/when they face each other in the playoffs. Not to mention the fact that Devin Harris consistently killed Golden State for the Mavs, and now he's in a Nets uniform.

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  9. ...

    65

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