When Dr. Michael D. Coe—the world's foremost Mesoamerican archaeologist—began decoding the Mayan calendar and the ancient civilization's predictions about the future, little did he know that the these seers of sights would foretell not only the end of modern civilization but more importantly, the victor in the Game of the Century (of the week, of the month) part two.
A recent discovery in the North Georgia Mountains is believed to be evidence of the migration of the ancient Mayans to right here in SEC Territory where they saw the stars line up for a great and final battle.
Below is a narrative found carved on *the stone of Ek Balam:
The Chieftain of the Ek Balam (the Great Tiger tribe) called Ajq’ij (keeper of time) is said to wear his golden crown too high while making chuj mos (doing crazy things), thereby convincing the One Who Came Before (Chief of Zo Chac Camic, which means the Dead Red Elephant) that he should siege Ek Balam’s great temple.
The tablet tells of many battles before and explains that the Red Elephant had felt the Tiger Chia (Strength) at its own temple but became enamored with Tiger Gold and was convinced that the great chieftain was chuj (crazy).
The Elephant army invades with a great hoard, all the known tribes make peace with the One Who Came Before out of fear of his eminence. There was no friend to be found for the Tiger, the spoils of her temple were being pledged to those who came with the Hoard.
It was said that the One Who Came Before deserved the spoil, he had taken many temples, had many crowns. It was said that the Tiger would fall and be forgotten by time and all the gods.
But the crazy chieftain knew how the herd would attack. Thus, he bent down to show them the grass (its unclear how it tasted but the chief did eat), where his Tigers had won many battles. Just when the herd began to stomp the ground and pound with their trunks, the Tigers attacked from above.
A swift-legged warrior who had many scalps set flight to his arrows with fire and ice. Like a cold-blooded feller, he brought fire on the herd. His targets were many and on point for the clash. When the keeper of time said it is enough, he knelt victoriously in the ash.
It is called the greatest of all the Mayan wars, and the victory is so complete that no other tribe dare glare at that Tiger Gold. Arrayed in a royal (purple) garment the great Chieftain surveys the spoil and the Mayan calendar ends with those Tigers ruling the world.
In addition to the Mayans, the Ancient Aliens and Nostradamus agree that the
Tigers are going to destroy Bama world is coming to an end in 2012.
So while you enjoy the last bowl season known to man or celebrate the Holidays for the last time in human existence you may do so knowing that when the Mad Hatter and his Mighty Fighting Tigers face off with
the One Nick Saban and his Gump herd Crimson Tide again, in New Orleans for the BCS Championship, that it really is for all the marbles this time.
This time the winner is the champion of Forevermore!
At least that’s what the prophecy says, if you believe in that kind of thing.
(*authenticity not warranted by archaeologist, OK - I made it up)
Like the new article format? Send us feedback!